How to Sissygasm: Hands-Free Prostate Massage Tips

In this article we'll explain how to sissygasm as well as advise on various toys you can use and scenarios you can play
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Last updatedLast updated: May 02, 2024
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As the concept of gender becomes even more fluid, traditional sex acts need to be updated. As such, men who identify as being more feminine, sometimes known as sissies, want an outlet where they can orgasm without the use of their penis. Enter the sissygasm. Learning how to sissygasm is not a straightforward road and many people find it takes a lot of practice to achieve the desired results.

Learning how to have a sissygasm can be fun itself, so don’t despair if you have to practice a lot. In this sissygasm guide, we will walk you through the steps of how to give yourself a sissygasm as well as how a partner can help. Our goal is to help you feel your authentic self and find as much pleasure as possible.

What is Sissygasm?

A sissygasm happens when your prostate gland Trusted Source Prostate Gland (Human Anatomy): Prostate Picture, Definition, Function, Conditions, Tests, and Treatments WebMD’s Prostate Anatomy Page provides detailed images, definitions, and information about the prostate. Learn about its function, parts, location on the body, and conditions that affect the prostate, as well as tests and treatments for prostate conditions. is stimulated in just the right way to cause you to ejaculate. Because of the mechanics, it can take quite a while to learn the sissygasm technique. However, many people do report being able to orgasm this way, so it is possible.

Due to the inner workings of your body, the prostate gland is close to your reproductive organs. If you are aroused and in the right mood, a pressure in the right area, where your p-gland can be felt through your anus, can be enough to trigger an orgasm.

Pros and cons

While there are many pros for a sissygasm, perhaps the only con is that it can take some time to master it. This can be frustrating for people who are looking for an alternative way to orgasm. However, as long as you know this going into it, and have suitable expectations, then you can actually turn the con into a positive by exploring and being innovative with your body.

As for the pros, a sissygasm fills a hole needed for those who identify as being sissy. While the term can mean different things to different people, it is most commonly used to describe a man who is in touch with his feminine side and thus wants to experience what traditionally-female identifying people do.

While having an orgasm is not the only aspect of sex, it is often viewed as the main event. If you are a sissy who wants to orgasm without the use of your penis, you need to be creative in your endeavors, which is why the sissygasm has become so important.

Also, while the term has different connotations, a sissygasm may be ideal for those who are transgendered. If you are transitioning from female to male but haven’t had or don’t want to have genital surgery, being able to orgasm through the stimulation of your prostate can make you feel more feminine.

As more people embrace the concept of gender fluidity Trusted Source The gender-fluid generation: young people on being male, female or non-binary | Sarah Marsh and Guardian readers | The Guardian We asked young people around the world to tell us how they define their gender. Here’s what they told u , there needs to be an open conversation about different sex acts that will support identities. No longer does it have to be that if you want to have an orgasm, your penis needs to be the star of the show.

Essential Items to Sissygasm

  • Prostate Massager – Since most people are trying to not use their hands, a prostate massager or vibrator like this one from Amazon is the key to success.
  • Cock Ring – A high quality cock ring can keep your penis hard even when you’re not directly stimulating it. While it’s not 100% necessary you might have a more enjoyable experience! Note that you can also make your own cock ring at home.
  • Lubricant – Even though you’re not doing traditional masturbation, your penis is still becoming erect. Your penis skin becomes extremely stretched, and can become itchy or uncomfortable if not properly lubricated. Lube up before you start to ensure a comfortable and fun time. We recommend a water based lubricant like this one for easy cleanup, and safe use with toys.
  • Yoga Mat – You might try out some of the fun positions that we cover below. If you’re not in bed they might be uncomfortable. A nice thick yoga mat can be a game changer.

How to Achieve a Sissygasm

As we’ve mentioned, achieving your first sissygasm can be quite difficult. Here are some ways to make the process a bit easier. Go easy on yourself through the process and always listen to what your body is telling you. Remember, if it hurts it might be time to stop.

How long would it take?

Everybody is different, so it is hard to know exactly how long it will take to have your first sissygasm. And, while having one usually means the next is easier, this is not always true.

If you have more experience with anal sex, having a sissygasm may be easier as you aren’t starting from zero. The more relaxed your anus is, the easier it will be to sissygasm, so if you are used to anal play, you have a further head start.

Those that are completely new to anal play should start with some preparation. Butt plugs of different sizes are available and this look at the best anal dildos can help you start with a smaller size and then work up to a larger one.

To help you on your journey, try to focus on the sensation and not worry too much about achieving a sissygasm. Then, even if you don’t succeed right away, you can still gain pleasure.

How to find a P-spot?

In order to actually have a sissygasm, the prostate gland needs to be stimulated. So, finding it is the first logical step.

The prostate gland sits just on the other side of the thin skin in your rectum. It is towards the front of your body and is nestled next to your bladder.

To find it, either insert your finger or have your partner insert there’s. Feel around slowly and gently. The sensation is unique to everyone but by lightly pressing along the skin, you should be able to stimulate it, and thus know where it is.

Practice first

Whether you want to sissygasm on your own or with your partner is a personal choice. Whatever you choose, however, should start with a lot of practice. Star with your finger as this will give you a better idea of where your p-spot is. Then, once you know the exact location, you can move on to toys.

Prepare toys and lube

Like other forms of orgasm, you can choose to use your hands or toys. The use of toys with a sissygasm should be thoroughly clean and for the most comfortable results, you should use lube.

Vibrations can usually help with a sissygasm, and this list of the best prostate massagers are a good way to start. They come in different lengths and diameters and you can angle them to perfectly hit your p-spot.

It is usually recommended to find your prostate with your finger first, so that you know exactly where it is. However, most people need some warming up before having a finger inserted into them.

Training butt plugs are a great way to get started. You can purchase sets that come in multiple sizes and then use them gradually to naturally open yourself up. Finally, when you have mastered the largest size, you can then move onto your finger and eventually larger-sized toys.

When selecting an anal toy, stick with silicone first. It should be rigid enough for easy access but not be too hard as to be uncomfortable.

While glass dildos are nice to look at, they are very hard and have no give. Therefore, they can be too overwhelming for beginners.

When using lube, stick to a water-based one. This will be easier to clean up and is nice and thin. There are many water-based lube options available.

Use a cage

The use of a chastity cage is another way to heighten your experience. These cages fit around a flaccid penis and usually have a lock on them. The purpose is to put pressure on your penis, which some find enjoyable.

A cage works in many ways and for those who want to cover up their penis, having it in a cage can help fulfill a fantasy. Chastity cages are also popular toys if you want to add a BDSM element.

The Vice™ Standard is a solid choice for a cage. It includes a padlock and even has an anti-pullout system which is a nice touch if you plan on continuous use.

You can choose to use a cage just for your sissygasm session or you can use one for longer use, depending on how you feel. If you are someone who wants to pass on control as much as possible, a cage can be a real turn-on.

Hands-free experience

Having a hands-free experience can come in two different ways. If you want to go for a solo sissygasm experience, then you will need to find a toy that is solid and won’t shift around. Unlike a traditional dildo, you need a device that will target the p-spot. Therefore, a dildo or vibrator with a suction cup base is a must.

Another option for a hands-free experience, and one that is a bit easier, is if your partner helps you out. For this, there are many toys available. The Nexus Revo Stealth includes a remote control that either you or your partner can use, which is perfect for hands-free play. It is curved in a way to find your prostate for ultimate stimulation.

If you are into BDSM, you can even add the use of handcuffs to ensure you don’t cheat. This is a good step for experienced people but if you are new to having a sissygasm, you will want to have every tool available.

Pick various scenarios

A lot of time sexual interactions are spontaneous, which is great. But with a sissygasm, a lot of work has to go into preparation. To save yourself from being disappointed, plan for your sissygasm experience.

Remember that foreplay is key with a sissygasm, so start from the beginning. Lingerie is often worn by sissies, so find your favorite lace leggings and negligees. The more comfortable you are in your body and appearance, the more relaxed you will feel.

Being clean can also help, as it will make you feel more attractive. Start with a luxurious bubble bath and clean your whole body in preparation.

The next step is to think about what turns you on. This is all personal preference and there is no right answer. If you have had positive experiences with giving up control, you might want to think about wearing a blindfold as your partner prepares you.

Other ideas for roleplay include doctor and patient or homeowner and maid. Keep things fun, light, and full of previous experiences that you know you will enjoy.

Take your time

The buildup can greatly enhance any orgasm, and the same is true for a sissygasm. Even though the p-spot is the ultimate goal, a sissygasm will only work if the entire body is stimulated. Kissing in certain erogenous zones can help, as will a lot of touching. Alternate between slow and fast movements and communicate to your partner what you are enjoying.

The best piece of advice when it comes to sissygasm help is that practice makes perfect. You will not sissygasm on your first try. But, if you keep trying, you will eventually get to it.

As long as you are enjoying it, try to practice every day. This can be a mix of solo play and partner play. Build on what works well with each subsequent session. Learn to trust your body and listen to how it responds.

If you are feeling stuck or discouraged, reach out to the sissy community to see what has worked for others. While everyone is different, you might get inspiration from the perspective of other people.

Best Positions for Sissygasm

Here are a few positions that might work well for you in your quest for a sissygasm. We suggest trying them all out as you might not be aware of what works best. Also, feel free to move around whenever you need to. You can start standing but if your legs start to cramp, then a lying down position may be necessary.

The different positions will create slightly different experiences. Just like with traditional sex in which you can try many different positions, a sissygasm can feel vastly different depending on how you are positioned.


A seated position is probably the best if you are going for a solo sissygasm. In this position, you can use a suction cup dildo or vibrator. Place the toy on a solid surface and make sure that it is secure. Then, apply plenty of lube and slowly angle yourself so that the dildo hits your p-spot.

The chair you are on should be solid so that you can move around on it and not worry about breaking it.

While you might want to use a chair that has a cushion to make it more comfortable, remember that a sissygasm can get pretty messy. Having a removable and washable cover will make clean up that much easier.


A standing position may work for some people but might not be the best for beginners. Still, it is worth trying.

While standing, you should first bend over for easier access. If engaged in solo play, you can attach the suction cup toy to a wall but make sure it is at the right height. You may need to move it around a few times. Comfort is key so if you have to stretch or contort your back, you won’t be able to stay in the position for very long.

For partner play, you can also use toys while standing up. This list of the best Aneros prostate massagers are all excellent toys to help with a sissygasm.

Lying down

Finally, one of the best positions to achieve your sissygasm is by lying down. Not only will this allow easier access, either for yourself or your partner, but it is more relaxing and you can maintain the position for a lot longer.

Lying down is especially good with a partner as it will allow more intimacy between the two of you. Kissing and touching is easier if you are lying down or sitting, which can be important to set the mood.

Be sure to spread your legs as you lie down to allow your anus to open as wide as possible. Then, use your toy of choice and enjoy the experience.

Final Thoughts

No matter how you identify, there may come a time when you want to orgasm but don’t want to involve your penis in the experience. This is called having a sissygasm and it involves stimulating your prostate gland in just the right manner to trigger you to ejaculate. The road to having your first sissygasm will probably not be straightforward. The process can be difficult to master. Remember to relax and listen to your body. If you are going solo, take breaks and try new positions. If you have a partner to help you out, communicate with them so they know which areas to stimulate. Foreplay can really help with a sissygasm as it will keep you relaxed and set the mood. Learning how to sissygasm can take days and even weeks but with enough practice, you can enjoy this incredible experience.


Prostate Gland (Human Anatomy): Prostate Picture, Definition, Function, Conditions, Tests, and Treatments
WebMD’s Prostate Anatomy Page provides detailed images, definitions, and information about the prostate. Learn about its function, parts, location on the body, and conditions that affect the prostate, as well as tests and treatments for prostate conditions.
The gender-fluid generation: young people on being male, female or non-binary | Sarah Marsh and Guardian readers | The Guardian
We asked young people around the world to tell us how they define their gender. Here’s what they told u
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