Orgasm Denial Games – Ruined Pleasure or Unbelievable Ecstasy?

This article will teach you how to perform orgasm denial games to mutual pleasure - from preparing for the act to making it even more fun
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Last updatedLast updated: September 13, 2021
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So often we see an orgasm as the end game of sex. And even more so, it’s a race to see who can finish first. But what if you want to enjoy sex for longer, all while being on the edge of your finale?

Orgasm denial games can take quite a bit of effort to master and we’re not going to lie, they can be quite frustrating. But sex should be an experience, not a means to an end. If you’ve got the time and want to experiment further in bed, why not try to deny your orgasm, at least by a little bit to start. We’ll dig deep into why you would want to try orgasm denial games and of course, provide you with a comprehensive list of fun activities to try. 

What is Orgasm Denial?

At its most basic premise, orgasm denial is when you engage in a sexual act but don’t have an orgasm at the end. This is by choice, so all those unsatisfactory trysts were merely bad sex, not willful orgasm denial. 

The umbrella of orgasm denial is fairly broad. It can refer to long sex sessions with plenty of teasing or can refer to going for a period of time without engaging in sex or having an orgasm. 

You can practice orgasm denial on your own but it is more common to engage in with a partner. Usually, your partner has some measure of control over your act, with the threat of (consensual) punishment if you do orgasm before the set time is up. You can also play various games where you must complete specific tasks before you can orgasm. 

Is it BDSM practice?

Orgasm denial has plenty of BDSM themes in it, but does not exists strictly in this lifestyle. Plenty of traditional couples experiment with orgasm denial, although perhaps going to less extremes. 

For those in a BDSM relationship, adding a punishment aspect often happens. This way there is a consequence to breaking the rules which heightens the steaks at playing certain games. 

Types

There are different forms of orgasm denial and you will probably want to experiment with a few scenarios to find something that works for you. Also, don’t worry if what you end up on is a combination of different categories. Whatever gives you and your partner pleasure is what you want to achieve. 

Teasing – Chances are you and your partner have already experimented with this form. You take your partner to the edge but don’t allow them the satisfaction of an orgasm right away. Teasing and edging are all practices we engage in although you can take this to a further limit when you are more actively engaged in orgasm denial. 

Ruined orgasm – Not for the faint of heart, in this scenario you take your partner right to the edge of an orgasm but then stop completely. While this can be utterly frustrating, it can build stamina and make the next orgasm even more fulfilling. 

Complete denial – Think of this as a form of willful abstinence. You and your partner don’t engage in any sexual activities for a certain period of time. Furthermore, not masturbatory sessions are allowed. 

Orgasm Control Game Setting

We can’t stress this enough. Orgasm denial needs to be completely consensual. Furthermore, you need to have frank conversations with your partner beforehand. While a bit of light teasing is normal in any sexual relationship, denying an orgasm or expecting certain outcomes to happen first is a major step to take. 

Beyond all this, however, we recommend you have some fun. You can certainly be serious but if all doesn’t go to plan, don’t sweat it. Simply try again. Have fun with your partner and be sure to enjoy the time you have together. 

Safe word

Orgasm Denial Games - Ruined Pleasure or Unbelievable Ecstasy?
If you are in a BDSM relationship, you will already have a series of safe words Trusted Source Why You Need a Safe Word (Plus, Safe Word Ideas to Use) | Shape Think you’re too vanilla for a safe word? Think again. Here’s how safe words work and why anyone can benefit from using a safe word in bed, plus how to pick a good safe word and some safe word ideas to try. www.shape.com set up. However, those that just want to experiment with their relationship might not realize the importance of safe words. 

There are two types of safe words. The first is used when you are approaching your limit but still want to continue. At its most basic, many people use the word ‘yellow.’ Then there is your actual safe word which means stop immediately. While some use the word ‘red’ for this, you can use anything you want. 

You may be wondering why you simply don’t use the word ‘stop’ as a safe word. This is because it’s natural to tell your partner to stop, even if you are ok going a bit forward. Your partner may be confused as to whether to stop or to continue. If you discuss your safe words ahead of time, then your partner will know they can continue until your actual safe word is used. 

Toys

What kinds of games are fun if there are no toys involved? At the very least we suggest having a vibrator around, such as a more discreet egg vibrator. You want to be able to really tease your partner. 

There are plenty of other toys and accessories to use, depending on how far you want to experiment. Butt plugs are a great accessory for either partner as it adds that feeling of anticipation. 

Tease and Denial Games Scenarios

Now that you are ready to engage in a safe and consensual round of orgasm denial, here are a few game ideas to spice things up. 

Keeping score

Those with a competitive edge will really enjoy this game. You will need a vibrator which is used for maximum teasing. While the vibrator is doing its job, you give your partner a series of tasks, with accompanying points attached. In a set amount of time, your partner needs to finish enough tasks to reach 10 points. If all goes well, your partner gets an orgasm. If not, the game ends in complete frustration. 

You can come up with sexual tasks or mundane tasks. You can opt to not use a vibrator but including it makes the other person more willing to complete their tasks for some much needed release. 

Time intervals

Orgasm Denial Games - Ruined Pleasure or Unbelievable Ecstasy?
It’s amazing how fast sex can take if you’re really enjoying it. You may think an hour has gone by when really, it’s only been a few minutes. If you are someone who wants sex to last longer but can’t trust yourself to take your time, a timer may be what you need. 

In this game, you can use your phone to set a time for a certain period. It is then only after the timer goes off that you’re allowed to orgasm. 

If you want something more random, your partner can either pick a specific time without telling you, or set the timer for a random time. Then, you have no way of knowing if you have to be in agony for two minutes or 20 minutes. 

Level

If achieving an orgasm is the final level, what would the lower levels be? In the level game, you and your partner, or possibly just your partner, decide on what has to be achieved before you can reach an orgasm. You then have to meet these levels in order. 

Another option is to be granted an orgasm only after being denied it a certain number of times. This could be merely one time, at the beginning, or up to ten times if you want to really control yourself. 

Reciprocity

Really, this should be a given but too often it isn’t. With reciprocity, you only get to orgasm after your partner has. While often used in BDSM power relationships, anyone can take part in it. This is also a great game when both partners want to engage in oral sex. 

To make things more difficult, you can set rules such as needing to use a blindfold or not being able to use your hands. The more difficult it is to give your partner an orgasm, the longer it will take for you to receive your own. 

Set the date

A lot of couples select date nights to ensure they make time for each other. You can also set orgasm dates. Just don’t think of it as a chore; instead think of it as willful denial. If you usually have sex a few times a week, plan to decrease it to just once a week. This way your body will be naturally aroused without an outlet for release. 

Setting the date allows you to really be aware of your body and is a great way to build anticipation. It also works if there is plenty of teasing involved beforehand.

Setting the date is also a great way to build intimacy. Often this can lead to more kissing and caressing, and essentially creates a whole week’s worth of foreplay. It could be just what you need to bring more intimacy to your relationship. 

Traffic light

With this game, your partner is in complete control. There are different ways to be involved but the simplest is if you are masturbating. When your partner says, ‘green light,’ you get to continue but if your partner says, ‘red light,’ you need to immediately stop. This is a great way to have your partner become more in tune with your expressions as they will be able to see when you are on the edge and then command you to stop.

You can use different toys for this game but if you want to go all out, you may want to consider a sex machine. For example, the Motorbunny Sex Machine features four different attachments and a motor that will vibrate you all the way to pleasure. In the traffic light game you must stop the machine whenever you encounter a red light, leading to maximum frustration. 

On command

Orgasm Denial Games - Ruined Pleasure or Unbelievable Ecstasy?
Another BDSM orgasm denial game, this one can also be adapted to any type of coupling. Basically, you are not allowed to orgasm until your partner says you can. This can take quite a bit of training as it can be hard to listen to someone’s voice and not your own body. Those in a BDSM relationship may take it further and turn to punishment if you orgasm without permission.

After enough practice, you may find that you aren’t able to orgasm until your partner allows it. This may seem extreme but it is just another way to enhance the power dynamic between two people. 

No say

The ultimate in power dynamics, with this game one person literally has no say in when they are allowed to orgasm. Instead, the other partner has all the power. This game is especially powerful when engaging in female edging. Your partner can stimulate you all they want, stop when they feel you getting close, and then start the torturous experience all over again. 

For this game especially, you will want safewords as otherwise it can be too overwhelming for the person without any control. 

Homeschooling

So often when we think about porn it’s in video or picture form. But erotic stories hold their own special power. Instead of seeing other people, usually who are extremely attractive and not very realistic, reading about people allows you to freely use your Imagination. 

Try your hand at writing your own erotic thriller. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare and can even be as simple as writing down your fantasy. The point is to get you thinking about sex, which in turn will lead to a greater anticipation. As a bonus, you can start to think about any fantasies you want fulfilled. 

In this game, it is only after you complete the assignment that you are allowed an orgasm. If you want a punishment aspect, you can detract points for any spelling errors. 

Chastity

In the Middle Ages, chastity belts Trusted Source What Are Chastity Belts, Really? Based on historical evidence, experts believe the concept of a chastity belt arose as a joke but the myth has persisted. Historians do not believe they were used as a legitimate tactic to enforce chastity among women. www.livescience.com were often used to ensure maidens kept their virtue, especially if menfolk had to go off to war. Nowadays, they are used in a much more pleasurable way. There are chastity belts for both men and women and they are perfectly made for orgasm denial games. Not only do they cover the area you want aroused, they often come with an actual lock and key. Just remember that communication is definitely key with these. Also, don’t lose that key!

If you want to add a sense of pain with your pleasure, you can consider something like the CB-6000S. It is a male chastity kit that locks over a penis. There might be quite a bit of pain involved, as your erection will be literally locked in but if you want a mix of emotions, then it is perfect for play time. 

Final Thoughts

There’s a lot more to sex than just an orgasm. In fact, learning to make the most out of sex without actually having an orgasm may be the spice you need in your life. Those in a BDSM relationship may already have experience with orgasm denial games but even if you are in a more traditional relationship, you might want to play around. Always talk to your partner and make sure you know their comfort levels. Being denied an orgasm isn’t always fun and you want it to be about pleasure and not punishment. But if you’re willing and want a challenge, there are some innovative ways to incorporate the idea of orgasm denial into your relationship.

References

1.
Why You Need a Safe Word (Plus, Safe Word Ideas to Use) | Shape
Think you’re too vanilla for a safe word? Think again. Here’s how safe words work and why anyone can benefit from using a safe word in bed, plus how to pick a good safe word and some safe word ideas to try.
2.
What Are Chastity Belts, Really?
Based on historical evidence, experts believe the concept of a chastity belt arose as a joke but the myth has persisted. Historians do not believe they were used as a legitimate tactic to enforce chastity among women.
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