Last updated: March 24, 2024For some people, BDSM is a way to spice up their relationship, bringing their wildest fetishes to life. For others, the practice provides them the chance to process pain while being in control of it. There are numerous BDSM punishments for couples to explore as you’ll soon find out in this article.
This article will provide you a long list of BDSM punishments and includes a guide on aftercare. Furthermore, BDSM punishments require letting your sub know what they did wrong and punishing them accordingly. If you’re a sub, this guide is the perfect gift for your dom. Ride along with us as we go deep into the wild world of BDSM slave punishments.
Once you’re finished reading check out our reviews of the best spanking benches, best bondage boards, and best bondage restraints for everything you need to punish your naughty sub. Head on over to our BDSM product reviews, ratings, and guides for more.
When to Apply the Punishment
In a BDSM relationship, you don’t just apply punishment out of the blue or you defeat the purpose. Before you can apply the punishment, your sub must have done something wrong. Let’s discuss how to find how the right time to apply the punishment below:
According to a 2018 study by researcher Charlotta Carlström Trusted Source BDSM, becoming and the flows of desire Based on a five-year qualitative ethnographic study of Bondage and Discipline/Dominance and Submission/Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) in Sweden, this paper examines the process of becoming among BDSM practitioners. www.tandfonline.com , BDSM is organized in an environment with shared rules and values that a sub must adhere to. A rule can say a sub must always press toothpaste from the bottom—not the middle. Violating such a rule leads to punishment by the dom.
Essentially, the dom applies BDSM punishments when the sub breaks any of the rules. Of course, there must be consequences for the violation of rules.
A typical BDSM relationship is negotiated and consensual with power flowing in only one direction—that of the dom. So, realistically, a dom can’t be punished by a sub. We must also note that BDSM is not about revenge so a sub can forget about punishing their dom—this is not a vanilla relationship.
As mentioned at the beginning, the pain can be a good thing for some subs. For others, it’s not just about the pain, they want to be treated to slave punishments too. Thankfully, we are not short of creative BDSM punishments. Let’s discuss how to punish your sub below:
Spanking is perhaps the most popular amongst slave punishments BDSM. Get your sub on her knees and spank her ass, repeatedly. Instead of using your bare hand, you can try to find the best spanking paddle to help out.
You can’t find a satisfactory paddle? You can consider the two-sided Fetish Fantasy Extreme from LoveHoney as its excellent reputation precedes it. The paddle boasts a smooth side for more gentle play and a diamond quilted side for more bite. The slight flex in the paddle gives the spanker more leverage for intense spanking.
There are not many slave punishments that are more humiliating than dog walk. Let your dom walk like a dog for violating one of your most important rules. Put a collar on your sub, attach a lead, and walk them like a dog. Make them follow you all around the house. If you need to leave them for some minutes while still punishing them, you can tie the lead to something to keep them stuck.
You’re going to need a safe and high-quality kit for this and Stockroom’s Floral Collar and Leash Kit may be just what you need. The kit’s collar features a sleek embossed outer design and comfortable padded lining. Plus, there’s a fully adjustable locking belt-style enclosure to help you remind your sub that they belong to you.
Sometimes, you don’t need to touch your sub to punish them for doing wrong. You can punish them by making them watch only. For example, if you’re in an open relationship, invite someone else over and have sex with the person in front of your sub. To make things worse for them, the guest can even be someone they despise.
Alternatively, masturbate to the picture of someone who they despise and let them watch you bring yourself to orgasm. The thought of you cumming to someone your sub doesn’t like is a tough punishment for them.
Body freeze is another one amongst plenty of dom punishments that you can explore. This involves pouring ice cubes or crushed ice on the sensitive parts of your sub. Such sensitive parts can be their nipples, stomach, or even penis/vagina. You can even notch it up and pour the ice cubes in their anus and let them melt inside. That will send chills down their spines.
However, you shouldn’t use ice cubes fresh out of the freezer to avoid burning your sub’s skin. Instead, use cubes that are slightly melted.
Candle wax BDSM punishment is a risk-aware idea. It involves dripping wax from a candle onto your sub’s naked skin. The goal is to create a slight burning sensation on their skin. Besides that, colored candle wax can create colorful patterns on your sub.
However, this needs to be done safely. If done wrong, candle wax punishment can cause severe burns—enough to require medical attention.
Another slave punishment is silencing your sub. There are several ways to gag them. One is using a bar of soap to gag them by taping it into their mouth. Make the soap foam a bit to make it taste worse in their mouth but ensure that they don’t swallow. For safety, have clean water ready for your sub to rinse their mouth.
Ball gag is another means to keep your sub silent. Force the most uncomfortable one you can find on your sub for some hours. However, you should give them 7 – 10 minutes breaks to relaxing their jaw every hour. While punishing your sub for breaking your rule, you don’t want them to get into trouble with lockjaw or spasms. The best face strap-on and dildo mouth gags can come in handy here, trust us.
Or if a gag is not something you and your sub are comfortable with, you can just give them the silent treatment, especially if they like to communicate a lot. Trust us, ignoring them will hurt so much.
Edging is one of several femdom punishment ideas. Perhaps, it’s something you’ve always been aware of and used to tease your partner a few times before. However, this time is about punishment—not pleasure. This is best done on a male sub. So, what you do is bring your sub to the brink of orgasm and—abruptly—leave them hanging.
Don’t forget to put him in handcuffs or tie his hands so he can’t touch himself. Otherwise, he will release himself from the torture, thus defeating the purpose of punishment. After you leave him hanging, come back after a few minutes to repeat the process.
Besides, don’t for a second think edging is only for men; it can work on women too. If your sub is a woman, stimulate her clitoris or use a toy to hit her G-spot and withdraw once you sense she’s getting close. Use one of the two methods because both can be too intense that you won’t be able to keep her on the edge. You’re punishing her, don’t give her that pleasure.
Public degradation can serve as slave punishment for your sub. Make them wear embarrassing clothes in public. They’ve got a color they dislike? Paint that color on their face. Do they hate socks? Make them wear ridiculous rainbow socks. Whatever you decide; just make them wear something so uncomfortable and embarrassing to them.
Besides making your sub wear embarrassing clothes in public, you can make them masturbate—in public—where there are a lot of people. A movie theater is a perfect place for such punishment. A public park—late in the night—can also do. However, try not to go overboard with it. Your goal is to punish them; not humiliate them.
Your sub has broken your rule of not touching something in the house, the best way to punish them is to restrict their movement and keep them stuck in a place. That way, they’ll know the importance of not moving to somewhere they’re banned from. Buy cuffs and use them to restrict the sub’s hands. Use chains to tie their legs.
Or better still, get a sex swing to keep them completely restrained from moving.
Your sub has a ticket ready for their favorite annual concert and they’ve broken one of your rules? A befitting punishment can be denying them the chance to attend that concert. The same applies to any event they’re planning to attend.
Moreover, you may even decide against denying them their favorite concert and opting to deny them food instead. However, we must mention that this is not an ideal punishment, so you must only practice as long as it is safe for your sub’s health. Plus, you can’t allow it to go on and on. Stop the punishment once you realize your sub has seen the errors of their ways.
One of the most important requirements of effective dom-sub punishments is knowing your sub well. If you do, you can be able to tell how they love sex—whether quickie or slowly with foreplay. If it’s slow sex they like, deny them pleasure by subjecting them to a quickie and making them come fast.
Denying your sub the pleasing effects of foreplay can be enough punishment for a small “crime”.
After a stressful day at work, your sub is planning to go to bed early but you have other plans for them because they have broken your most important rule. You punish them by denying them sleep. To keep yourself from staying awake with your sub, set up a camera to watch them while you sleep. If they’re caught sleeping or tampering with the camera, they’ll get punished.
However, this denial can be dangerous—health-wise—so we advise that you do it in moderation.
This is a common punishment that some people had to endure as children growing up. You can subject your sub to the same punishment if they break your toothpaste rule. Make them write “I will not press the toothpaste at the middle again” 100 times. By the time your sub is done and their hand aches, they’ll learn to adhere to your rules.
Another slave punishment you can mete out on your sub is tiring or working them up. How do you do these? Make them carry heavy materials around the house or work out. The workout session should involve exercises that cause quick tiredness. If you’re no fan of these methods, you can get your sub to clean the entire house. Essentially, run them tired for breaking your rules.
You can’t run out of ways to punish your stubborn sub. Making them behave like a piece of furniture—say a chair—or an inanimate object is another way to punish them. You can even do this in public, exposing them to stares for passersby. Instruct your sub to tell anyone who asks questions that they lost a bet.
Or better still, do this at home and ride them like a horse. Incorporate a top-quality riding crop like the Fifty Shades of Grey Sweet Anticipation Riding Crop into the punishment to control your sub. This beautiful riding crop has faux leather on one side, and rose-patterned fabric on the other and oozes class from tip to tip.
Punishing your sub can also mean making them eat food off the floor. Pour snacks on the floor and make your sub eat them as an animal will do. Stressing their backbone and the humiliation from eating from the floor can make them desist from breaking your rules. However, you should only pour food on a clean floor to ensure that your sub’s health is not endangered.
Golden shower is an effective BDSM punishment if your sub is not into it. Forcing them to have one can make them very uncomfortable. However, if your sub prefers to receive a golden shower—not give—force them to shower you. The same may be applied to squirting – if your sub is not used to it, it might be a nice idea to force them to squirt on you.
You can use a chastity belt or penis cage to punish your male sub. Get him to wear the penis cage and let it take on him for a few hours. However, it must be worn safely. Before your sub wears a chastity cage, make them shave and clean their pubic area. Also, make them put the ring on first, use ice to shrink their penis, lube up, and slowly slide the cage on.
Additionally, your sub should secure the cage to the ring and padlock the cage. If there’s any case of extreme pain, the cage should be removed.
If your sub has broken any of your rules, send them to a time-out area. Essentially, banish them to their least favorite place in the house. Such a place can be the kitchen if they hate doing the dishes or cooking. Let your sub get something doing inside there or stay idle for as long as you want.
Does your sub have a favorite toy—a dildo, a butt plug, or a male vibrator? Go on to deny them the pleasure of using the toy to play with their penis/vagina. This can be a painful thing for your sub if they’re horny and their favorite toy is not available to get them off.
Adding shock to the mix raises the stakes. Use a small shocker on your sub’s sensitive parts and send shivers down their spine. Watch them shake continuously from the tingling sensation of the shocker. Even though this punishment works like magic, it requires vigilance still. You don’t want to threaten the safety of your partner so you should use the shocker moderately.
Acquire remote control toys that provide various vibrating patterns and intensities. You can get that from the best remote control vibrators. Remote control toys either function through Bluetooth or an internet connection. Make your sub wear any that fit them on a date with you and control the vibrations and intensity with your phone.
Furthermore, instruct your sub to not make an obvious sound when you’re outside or their punishment gets worse when you arrive home. You can decide to deny them orgasm after a long period of toy play. If you prefer to do it at home; fine. Make your sub do errands and promise to reward them with orgasm if they do it right. This idea strikes the balance between BDSM rewards and punishments.
Add kinky punishments to the mix to get things wilder. One kinky punishment is instructing your sub to rim you. This can be a worse punishment if they find rimming disgusting. Of course, you must get your anus thoroughly cleaned before getting your sub to rim you. Another kinky punishment is foot licking. Instruct your sub to lick your feet clean.
You don’t have to be close to your sub to dominate and punish them. Below, we have for you, creative long-distance BDSM punishments:
Get your sub on a video call and lecture them on how to be on their best behavior always. Treat them like you will treat a 10-year-old kid and watch them get sober for breaking your rules.
Making your sub watch you masturbate or have sex with someone else doesn’t stop when you’re not close to each other. You can also make this happen when you’re not near each other. Get your sub on a video call with your phone camera capturing you having sex with someone else.
For extra humiliation, say your current sexual partner is better than them. Of course, this should only be done if you’re in an open relationship. Ensure that they don’t stop watching. If they do, they risk more punishment.
Even though you’re away from home, you can deny your sub sleep. Make them stay on a video call as long as you wish. You can let your phone record the call while you go to sleep. Threaten your sub that you’ll mete out more punishment if they sleep during the call without your permission.
Make a sharp seat and force your sub to sit on it. This sharp seat can be a carpet with nails or a chair filled with drawing pins. Just let them sit on a painful surface.
Forcing your sub to wear a butt plug is another way to punish them. With the best inflatable butt plugs, they can even enhance the size of the plug inside their ass. Instruct your sub to use the attached pump to inflate the plug and get it to fill them up while you watch them.
This punishment presents another reason why you must know your sub well. Make them eat gross food—the one they find very unpleasant—and watch while they do so. To make things more unpleasant for your sub, make them cook the food.
Your sub’s nipples and clit are the most sensitive parts of their body. Make your sub wear nipple and clit clamps and watch them stay on with the clamps for as long as you want. You should opt for a high-quality, tender clit clamp for your sub’s safety.
You can’t ignore aftercare after your sub is done serving their punishment. The aftercare involves comforting your sub emotionally, mentally, and physically. Aftercare for physical punishment can include applying balm or ointment to affected body parts. And aftercare for mental and emotional punishments can include cuddling and providing a cool drink with electrolytes.
As you can now see, there’s no boundary to the number of BDSM punishments there is. This guide contains 30 punishments that can help keep your sub in check. Besides, the punishments are designed for both short-distance and long-distance relationships. While these punishments are aimed at ensuring discipline, they go further by helping to solve control issues or power struggles in a relationship as reported by Time Magazine. Trusted Source How to Introduce BDSM Into Your Relationship | Time Find out how sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Jones thinks you organically introduce BDSM into your relationship. time.com
Furthermore, ensure that the punishment is always commensurate with the “offense”. After BDSM punishments, is the aftercare. The aftercare helps to ensure that the punishments do not adversely affect your sub mentally, emotionally, or physically. Hence, don’t ever forget the aftercare after every punishment session.
