Last updated: February 21, 2024One of the saddest realizations is that women don’t always cum during sex, unlike men, where it’s basically guaranteed. This can put an unnecessary strain on the relationship dynamics, and for most men, the problem is totally solvable. You can just learn how to make her cum, simple as that. Once you can help her orgasm you may even wonder how to make a woman squirt. To start, you can use the tips below for before and during sex that’ll leave her wanting you more often. So, why not take advantage?
Here’s what you can do before the intercourse:
You may have experienced this. You come home from work and get right into it, putting in all the techniques you know to make her cum hard. But it falls short. Why? Because for women, sex doesn’t start with foreplay and penetration.
She needs to be in the right mood before starting anything; then, you stand a chance if you know what you’re doing. So how do you get her in the right mood? Often this starts long before the sexual act itself.
Short texts throughout the day can certainly help. Does she appreciate a bit of sexting or dirty talk? Do it. A romantic dinner also works wonders; if you can’t do that, other romantic gestures like bringing flowers or a piece of sexy lingerie are a great place to start.
For a woman, having sex with you is a show of trust but getting to orgasm is the ultimate expression of that. So, if you’ve learned how to make her cum every time, she trusts you completely. It shows that she is relaxed, happy, and comfortable with you, and given that women are typically afraid of making themselves vulnerable to guys, it doesn’t happen easily.
If she feels you’ll take advantage of her, you best believe she’s unlikely to cum. This is where your passionate side comes in. Do you treat her right? Are you sometimes romantic? Do you take care of your responsibilities if you’re married or living together?
Even small things like taking out the trash without being told or picking up after yourself can help her feel like she can rely on you. Ultimately, this trust will flow into the bedroom, where she’ll have an easier time surrendering to you. Once she does that, she’s more than likely to cum.
She might be in the mood and trust you, but another element necessary for her to reach climax is being in the right state of mind. If she worries about the kids, for example, coming home while you’re doing the nasty, she’s unlikely to cum.
Putting her in the right frame of mind involves eliminating some of the worries and causes of anxiety that plague her daily. For instance, it might be prudent to wait till Friday or the weekend when she doesn’t have to worry about waking up early the next day after a tiring but fulfilling sex session.
According to SWNS Digital, most Americans enjoy the best sex of the year on Valentine’s Day. One reason for this is the right frame of mind. Couples go to dinner, drink wine, eat mood-boosting chocolate treats, etc. You may even get a nanny and book a night out at a hotel away from the kids.
All this serves to put her in the right frame of mind, so there aren’t any intrusive or distracting thoughts by the time it happens. Furthermore, it’s still possible for your woman to feel guilt and shame about the whole experience.
Adding fun elements should help get her out of her head and into the moment. Pillow fights and role play also help make the moment feel more fun and spontaneous. Lastly, showing you don’t have any negative feelings about sex can help make it easier for her to cum by the end, as they’re not worried about being judged and the resulting guilt and shame.
These are the ways to get her to orgasm during sex:
Fingering is also a good way to start your sex session, and if used correctly, you can give her an orgasm even before penetrative sex. You have more control over your fingers and finger joints than your penis.
Also, there is little to no risk of premature ejaculation while using your fingers. As such, If you’re having trouble ensuring she gets her orgasm before you, it’s also an ideal way to get her near to the finishing point before penetrative sex.
Before you use your fingers, ensure you clip your nails and file them short. That way, you avoid injuring her vagina and, given the sensitivity of the area, the pain that follows. Your hands and fingers also need to be clean.
Ideally, you should use your index and middle fingers to finger her while she lies on her back. Curling them upwards once inside targets the G-spot, one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on a woman’s body. You can then thrust your fingers in and out of her vagina.
The best G-spot vibrators target this spot without much effort and can come in handy if you’re intent on making her cum.
Also, depending on your position, you can use the palm of your hand for some clitoral stimulation, thus increasing her chances of orgasm.
If fingering doesn’t get her there, cunnilingus has also been shown to be quite effective. As for how to make her cum orally, often this involves kissing, licking, and sucking the outside of her vagina, including the labia minora, fourchette, and labia majora. However, the area you should focus most on is the clitoris.
It’s okay to pay attention to the other areas as you “switch things up.” However, you will get the most feedback and results from the clitoris and the hood.
It’s arguably one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Using your tongue on it seems to work pretty well, given that it’s both rough and gentle.
Also, you can incorporate your teeth to raise the tension by sliding them over the clit. Remember, it’s one of the most sensitive areas, so if you forget yourself and bite down or put too much pressure, you might cause her unimaginable pain. Therefore, if you’re not too sure you can pull off the move, it’s best not to attempt it.
If you and your partner are sexually adventurous, anal sex may be something you want to try. She can also get anal/prostrate orgasms that are very different from her normal orgasm. The same is true for you, but in this case, we’re focusing on her.
If you’re going to do it, it’s important to be gentle, especially if it’s her first time experiencing anything up her rear. Massaging her anus is a good place to start, given that research shows that approximately 40% of women find touching the anal surface to be pleasurable. It also makes other kinds of sexual touch more pleasurable.
That said, penetrative anal sex can be uncomfortable and even downright painful if done wrong. After the massage, you can insert a small toy or a finger. If you want to explore this area of sexual pleasure, the best anal dildos and sex toys vary in size and shape to match your experience level. As such, finding a small anal toy on the market should be fairly easy.
Ensure you incorporate a condom and lube. The anal opening likely isn’t as naturally lubricated as its vaginal counterpart, so for her to remain comfortable, use lots of lube. When you eventually get to penetration, be gentle and take it slow.
If she enjoys it, you can thrust like you normally do, and she might end up experiencing an orgasm.
There’s a reason why the ideal fingering technique involves stimulating the G-spot. If you slip your fingers into her vagina and curl them upwards, it should be right there. The more she feels aroused, the more you’ll feel a difference in the texture between G-spot and other areas around it.
It should feel spongy and have a slightly bumpy texture. Also, it tends to feel like it’s swelling the more she gets aroused. Targeting the g-spot repeatedly is an almost sure way to make her cum every time.
This is why multiple sex toys are curved upwards. In fact, despite its small size, reviewers recommend the ESCA 2 egg vibrator due to its curved shape. This also gives credence to the idea that it’s not the size of the penis but how you use it.
Some sex positions help you target the G-spot with your penis, e.g., the G-whiz, girl on fire, cowgirl, etc.
Clitoral orgasms for women can also feel very different from her G-spot orgasms. The clitoris should be easy to find since it’s right at the top of the vaginal anatomy and directly below the pubic hair section.
It seems to be covered in a small hood of skin, and if she’s aroused enough, blood will flow there and make it larger. That said, it’s still fairly small and one of the most sensitive parts of her anatomy. Stimulating the clit will likely result in clitoral orgasms.
Nevertheless, you can’t be rough with it. Using your tongue is recommended since you’re more likely to be gentle with it than with your fingers. There are also sex toys that target this area specifically. The best clitoral vibrators, for instance, may not have insertable parts like other sex toys but can still get her to orgasm.
An ideal way to make her cum fast is to use a clitoral vibrator during penetration. That way, you can use your penis to target her G-spot while the toy stimulates her clitoris. You can also use a clitoris stimulator toy while fingering her.
If all goes well, she might even experience the holy grail of orgasms: multiple orgasms where she gets several in quick succession.
Squirting is another intense form of orgasm for women that involves ejaculating a clear liquid. While it can be mistaken for pee, it’s not. Also, there are heavy squirters, and some women squirt a little.
Squirting from the former may look like a fully open tap or garden hose with lots of pressure. However, it’s much more understated for most women, where you’ll get a small wet patch on your bed. Also, for most women, if she’s not completely comfortable with you, she won’t let herself get there, so trust is a big part of achieving this type of orgasm.
While getting her to squirt using your penis is possible, using your fingers to target the G-spot continually is the most effective way. We did note that the G-spot swells, the more aroused she is. You might notice that after she squirts, the swelling will go down.
All the above can help with preparation, but once you get down to the act of sex, there’s still a lot you have to do, including:
Foreplay sets the stage for sex and serves as the interlude between the previous activity, e.g., a movie or dinner, and intimacy. While most men are ready from the get-go, the same cannot be said for women.
Your woman needs to be physically and mentally prepared before the most crucial parts, and foreplay helps do that. In fact, the more foreplay she gets at the beginning, the more likely she is to cum hard.
Also, while getting to orgasm for some men can be a sprint, for ladies, it’s more like a marathon. Overall, foreplay shouldn’t seem rushed. An erotic massage, light kisses, showering together, pillow talk, or a combination of several options should work great, depending on your woman.
While it is recommended that your woman vocalize what they like and don’t like during sex and foreplay, it might not happen immediately. You can show and tell her it’s okay to tell you what she prefers and what she doesn’t, but that will likely take some time.
In the meantime, you might have to rely on subtle cues from her body to tell you if what you’re doing is right, especially if your partner is reserved. Moans, sighs, shivers, goosebumps, and sharp inhales are all signs you’re headed in the right direction.
Furthermore, her body may seem more relaxed, and she may even lean into you. The longer you’re with your partner, the easier it’ll become to read her body and make the appropriate changes to your erotic sessions.
Also, no matter how well a routine worked out the first time to make her cum, it’ll quickly get old if you use it repeatedly. So what helps keep it interesting? Variety. If you use dinner, wine, chocolates, and showering together in the build-up this time, next time, you may want to switch to a movie and erotic massage.
Other ways to vary the situation include changing the time and location of the act. After all, doing it on the couch or kitchen counter may be the spark that allows her to get to the finish line. It will also work out in the long run in your favor since she’s always on her toes, wondering what we’ll happen next.
Does your foreplay typically start with kissing her breasts? Start with her legs next time and work your way up. Regarding the sex part, you can vary between slow strokes, fast pacing, changes in position, introduction and removal of toys, etc.
According to Women’s Health Magazine, vibrators have an unfair advantage over you in the bedroom in making her cum fast and hard. They are, after all, precision-built machines designed for that specific reason and, as such, have a bunch of features that you’re just not equipped with.
Instead of viewing vibrators and other sex toys as your natural enemy, why don’t you view them as valuable tools in your arsenal?
Also, there’s just about every type of sex toy you can think of, from anal dildos, clitoral vibrators, G-spot vibrators, thrusting dildos, etc. With research showing a huge percentage of women faking orgasms to please their partners, you don’t want that to be your woman when you have an easy solution.
Vibrators seem to get the job done more often than not, which explains the spike in sales in recent years. Some women even report getting more intense orgasms from their vibrators and sex toys when they masturbate than through sex with their partners.
Used correctly, your lady can start associating intense orgasms with you and the sex toy rather than the toy alone, which will do wonders for your sex life. Also, while you may see huge sex toys in porn videos, they can set unrealistic expectations in your bedroom.
Fortunately, according to reviews, options like the Vixen Spur VixSkin Slimline dildo are quite realistic, given the slender shaft and five-inch length. Furthermore, sex toys like cock rings can help you last long enough to ensure she climaxes first.
Nevertheless, it’s improper to use sex toys without her consent, so make sure you agree on their use before whipping any out.
When you arouse your woman, her vagina will produce a natural lubricant in readiness for sex. More blood will also flow to the clitoris, and it will swell ever so slightly. The natural lubricant should help reduce friction and chaffing between you and your partner’s genitals, but sometimes it’s not enough.
She may be slightly dehydrated after a long day, making it harder for her body to produce natural juices.
Enter the lube.
Keeping a bottle on your nightstand should allow you to have one on hand whenever you need a little extra lubrication. It especially comes in handy when using toys or for longer sex sessions.
With over 80% of people having watched porn at some point or other, according to The Recovery Village Drug and Alcohol Rehab, it’s safe to say it’s quite prevalent in our society. However, it does set unrealistic expectations of what a normal sex experience should be.
Often, it’s made with males and entertainment in mind, and just like that blockbuster action flick you watched recently, it doesn’t translate well into the real world. Most of the people you see in porn are professionals who’ve had lots of time to hone their craft and look good for the camera.
On the other hand, your woman is much more complex and nuanced, and placing her in that position you saw in that porn position you saw recently may be painful for her. It might even kill the mood.
Therefore, leaving any ideas, you may have picked up from one of those raunchy internet sites outside the door if you intend to make her cum is ideal.
You’ve probably experienced this once or twice before. You cum first; afterwards, it takes some time for your penis to be erect enough to go again. Often when you do eventually get ready to start again, she is no longer in the mood.
This is caused by releasing hormones such as Prolactin and Serotonin, which counteract arousal.
While she may have been near orgasm when you had yours, you’ll need to start all over to get her to that state. As such, it’s polite to let her cum first since you’ll have an easier time ejaculating after. That way, you both get to finish.
As with other sex toys, discuss this with her before using it.
Sometimes you may not have the time or the energy for an hour-long sex session. In that case, these tips on how to make her cum first faster may come in handy.
One reason she may be struggling to cum is her self-consciousness. Take that away, and you’ll find she is more in the moment and able to experience the sensations that come with it. Enter the blindfold.
It can heighten the tension of the situation, not to mention if you take one sense away, other senses seem a little keener. Consequently, she’ll feel everything on a higher spectrum. Other perks of using a blindfold include increasing sexual tension and excitement.
Also, giving you full control over the situation implies trust even to her, which helps her relax a bit more.
Handcuffs also imply giving her trust over to you and letting you control the situation. It can increase sexual arousal and excitement depending on her tastes. A cloth or rope can also tie her hands if you don’t have handcuffs.
If you’re both feeling a little more risqué and want to up the tension, you can look into BDSM. It can fulfil some sexual fantasies for women, which explains why erotic books and movies with these kinds of sex scenes are so popular with women.
Ultimately, how to make her cum involves using different techniques from the write-up above. Remember, we mentioned that even if something works once if you use it too often, it will get old, and you will be unable to get the job done. We also recommended switching things up. You might want to incorporate foreplay, fingers, sex toys, BDSM, anal play and more at different intervals if you want to make her cum every time. Keep her guessing what you’ll do next, and she will always look forward to the next time.
