Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

This article will share some basic information about gentle femdom practice along with sharing tips and tricks on how to enjoy it with your partner.
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Last updatedLast updated: July 10, 2022
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Routine kills, so it’s best to be avoided as much as possible, especially when it has to do with your sexual life or intimate moments with your partner. Spicing things up a little wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Now you might have been thinking about adding that spice by introducing a bit of BDSM, or maybe you are already into it. Still, you would like something different that doesn’t involve the well-known pain infliction or punishment to elicit pleasure.

Thankfully, other than the mainstream idea everyone has of BDSM, there are different types of submissive or dominant roles that don’t involve you whipping your partner or handcuffing them for the sake of pleasure.

Amongst these other roles is gentle femdom. You might have heard of this before, have an idea about it, or it might sound totally foreign to you. Whichever category you fall into, this article will provide you with the necessary information, and by the time you’re done reading, you’ll know all there is to know about gentle femdom.

What is Gentle femdom?

As the name implies, gentle femdom, which is otherwise known as gentle femdom, is a form of female domination that doesn’t involve the usual pain, harsh or intense punishment. It has more to do with care and nurturing.

Oftentimes, gentle femdom is role-based; a female or female-identifying partner dominates the other by assuming a powerful but also caring role. This role could be that of a mother or teacher, which is one of the reasons why it’s considered a more affectionate form of domination.

A female-identifying partner in gentle femdom doesn’t hurt her partner as that would go against what it stands for. Rather, she shows love, care, and empathy to her partner and might even reward him for pleasing her.

Acts of dominance in gentle femdom don’t always have to be sexual or involve sex at all. It could be as simple as having total control over your partner’s choice of clothes and selecting the outfit they wear out or instructing them to strip for you in a certain manner.

For the sexual part of gentle femdom, it could be you telling your partner to please you how you want either by using sex toys on you or touching you in a particular way. It could also be you blindfolding, tying your partner, or delaying their orgasm by instructing them to climax when you want.

You might be wondering if gentle femdom is only between a man and woman. However, it’s for everyone, irrespective of your sexual identity or gender. A submissive who doesn’t like a pain but wants to be dominated would like gentle femdom.

Importance of Consent

Any form of domination without consent screams wrong in all directions. It doesn’t matter if you want it. You need to discuss Trusted Source What We Can Learn About Consent (And Pleasure) From The World of Kink : Shots - Health News : NPR To make sure each partner is on the same page, kinksters have to talk about sex in a way that vanilla people — those who don’t participate in kinky activities — often don’t. Julie, a kinkster and sociologist in the Washington, D.C., area, believes that the communication kinksters have with one another distinguishes them from “vanillas.” www.npr.org it with your partner and be sure they want it, or at least they are willing to try.

Unlike the traditional BDSM, where the physical pain is inflicted, gentle femdom has to do with care, so you might think consent in gentle femdom might not be necessary or essential. However, irrespective of the type, gentle femdom is still a form of domination.

According to the report by BBC Trusted Source BDSM and consent: How to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse “Consent should be freely given, and it should be reversible at any point,” said Ms Martin, who is also executive director of the World Association of Sex Coaches. “Many people think that if you consent, that you agree until it’s done, but that’s not at all how it’s done.” www.bbc.com , to exercise informed consent, the sub – the abbreviated form for submissive – needs to know what activities will take place and how. So, thinking of surprising your partner with some acts or sex toys without discussing beforehand is not a good idea. You shouldn’t also be selfish by coercing your partner into fulfilling your fantasies.

To make gentle femdom enjoyable for both parties, there needs to be adequate and thoughtful communication. Make your partner know how it works, what to expect, if possible, make them see videos to have a visual idea of how it works. This way, you can get rid of the element of surprise completely. After you’ve done this, proceed not if you’re not given consent. You could also get a BDSM contract if you don’t trust word of mouth.

Gentle femdom Ideas

Telling you about gentle femdom is not enough. It’s like giving you cake without the icing. Either you’re just starting out, or you’re considering being a gentle femdom. You need these ideas to help you out.

Roleplay

Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

Ever thought of being someone else in the bedroom? Being yourself is all good too, but we talked about spicing things up and taking it up a notch, remember? So, imagine this, you as the femdom is a sultry uniform—I think we should all agree uniforms make it better— tending to your partner and giving him instructions on what to do and how to do it.

Roleplay for gentle femdom can take on any form. Just make sure whichever one you choose is okay for you and your partner agrees to it. You might not be comfortable with it at first if it’s your first time, but hey, constant planning, they say, brings about perfection. To make it easy for you, below are some of the roleplaying ideas you can choose from.

Teacher and Student

Imagine your partner assuming the role of a student while you become the teacher threatening him with detention or a failed test.

Monarch and Servant

You could be the queen of England in your bedroom, and no one would question you. You make your partner become your servant, carrying out every single instruction you give. Remember, though, this is a gentle femdom, and there’s no form of pain.

Boss and Employee

If the thought of assuming the role of a sexy boss doesn’t sound appealing to you, it sure does to you. Think of it this way, and your partner is an employee who’s about to lose his job and willing to do anything to please you, the boss.

Mother and Child

Gentle femdom is a form of dom that shows love instead of inflicting pain, so who shows love better than a mother? Here, you assume the role of a parent, and your partner becomes your child.

However, playing a role is not mandatory. You can be yourself and enjoy your gentle femdom actions.

Dressup

Dress up makes roleplay better. Dressing up and getting into costumes that fit the role you’re trying to play with your partner makes your key more into the role. Think of that teacher outfit with student uniform, or you dressed professionally as an Employer. This could be all the difference it takes for you to fully enjoy FGM. Dress-up doesn’t only involve costume-wearing, so it’s okay if you don’t see yourself wearing one. You could also decide on the clothes your partner will wear before, during, or after the act itself.

Some people love to completely show their kinky part by insisting their male partner puts on female clothing like heels, lace bra, and panties, or any other female accessories. The act of doing this is referred to as sissification. So, if you’ve been picturing your man in those clothes of yours, you could use this to bring the mental picture to life.

Bondage

You might ask yourself why bondage is included in gentle femdom. The reason for the inclusion is that bondage doesn’t always have to do with pain. As a female dom, tying up your partner puts you completely in charge of doing whatever you want with them. The domination doesn’t happen with words alone, after all.

There’s no rule to how you tie up your partner or what material you use. However, it is important to ask your partner if it’s completely okay to tie them, what material they would prefer, and if they are allergic to metal.

Bondage could involve you using rope, handcuffs, or any other household items you can find. It is important to be careful while tying up your partner, do not make it too tight to the point of the material cutting into their skin.

If you’re willing to invest in quality bondage material rather than settle for fabrics or ropes at home, you could go for a bondage kit because not only will you like the sight of it on your partner, it is also adjustable, and you can adjust it to suit your partner’s preference. With a bondage kit, you do not have to worry about hurting your partner or cutting off his circulation.

Apart from bondage, you could also blindfold your partner and prevent them from seeing you carry out your wicked but pleasurable acts on them.

Bondage could be mental as much as it’s physical. This mental bondage is harder and more torturous because not everyone has the ability to hold back. In mental bondage, for example, you can tell your partner not to move or make a sound while you’re busy touching them, and if they do move or sound, you’ll stop your ministrations immediately. You could also go the usual traditional way of kneeling on or holding your partner’s hands in place if you don’t want to make use of bondage tools or materials.

Sensational Play

Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

Pain doesn’t have to be the only sensation your partner is used to because it’s not the only one that exists. There are other activities you can do to make your partner feel physical sensations that can even be toe-curling or limb stretching.

One of those ways is to make use of your mouth. This could be in the form of kissing, licking, or sucking parts of their body. For example, you could suck on their nipples then gently blow cold air on them or play around with it with a sex toy like a nipple clamp, but you’ve to be careful on the choice of clamp; this is gentle femdom after all. The fifty shades of grey sweet tease vibrating nipple clamps will do just fine here. The vibrating option of the clamp will increase sensations.

If you’re not keen on having your mouth or tongue tour your partner’s body, you can give them massages using essential oils or a massage candle. You can make them feel a physical sensation by dragging stuff like silk, feathers on your partner’s skin. Moving your fingers in a sultry manner across their skin will give the same effect too.

You could make this more intense by getting rid of distractions and making them fully concentrate on what you’re making them feel. Distractions can be cut off by temporarily making some senses inactive. A blindfold or headphones or a combination of the two will get the work done. This way, they are more attuned to what you’re doing to them.

Reward

Everything is different in gentle femdom. Here, we give rewards, not punishments. Some people refer to this reward as good punishment. Rewards are good, and they are used to show appreciation when your partner does something to your satisfaction. Talk about praises without using words of mouth.

Rewards vary. They could come in a sexual form like

  • Allow your partner to orgasm
  • Kiss him
  • Give him oral sex
  • Allow him to watch you masturbate
  • Let him touch you
  • Untie him
  • Let him give you oral sex
  • Stroke his hand or a certain part of him

Rewards could also be tangible physical things your partner could always remember. It could be you getting him something he has always wanted, cooking his favorite meal, or taking him to his favorite spot.

Sometimes, your partner might be predictable, and they might like a particular sexual act. You can use this as an advantage by making them engage in it only as a form of reward. It could be as simple as kissing, giving, or asking for oral sex.

Whichever one it is, there are no rules as much as it fulfills the purpose of showing appreciation. In case you don’t know what sort of reward to give your partner, you can talk about it, ask them what kind of reward they desire. No one has ever gone wrong with asking, so you should try it.

Dirty Talk

Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

In case you didn’t know, dirty talk has a way of building or increasing arousal; it builds sexual tension and ultimately gives you a more enjoyable experience, so if you do not include it in your kinky acts, I don’t know what you’re doing.

Even in gentle femdom, it’s not a bad idea to show your partner how much you desire them or how much you enjoy the pleasurable acts. If rewards are praises without actual words, dirty talk could praise with actual words. When your partner is doing or does something you find pleasurable, don’t hesitate to tell them.

If you’ve totally new to the idea or use of dirty talk, try to sound as confident as possible so as not to make things awkward. You should also not say things you do not mean. Believe it or not, lies have a way of sounding off.

Dirty talks can come naturally to you in the middle of your sexual acts but below are some phrases you can include too. Don’t worry, and it will only sound like a lie if you’re not enjoying the act or you don’t like the person you’re doing it with. The phrases could be:

  • How do you enjoy my hand on your ——-
  • Please me
  • Cum for me hard
  • I love you
  • I can’t wait to have your cock deep in me
  • Beg for me
  • You like the taste of my —— don’t you?
  • I want to give you the best oral sex you’ve ever had
  • You love it when I do that, don’t you?

These are just a few of the dirty talks you can include in your sexual moments. You’re limitless.

Submissive Sex

What’s a gentle femdom without you actually being in charge? Absolutely nothing. As stated earlier, you can be in charge and still be gentle, and there are sexual positions that afford you the opportunity to do that, e.g., cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and thigh tide, which is similar to reverse cowgirl, where you get to be on top of your partner and determine the rhythm and flow of your acts. Want oral sex instead? You can get it done by instructing your partner to please you on his knees, or you assume a top position to please him.

You can take this a step higher by putting on a strap on and instructing your man to give it a blow job, or you use it to penetrate him, which has to be anal so ensure your partner is completely okay with it because anal sex can be painful but quite enjoyable once you get the hang of it. Also, do not forget to use a lot of lubes as the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like the vagina.

Sex Toys

Sex toys are great for gentle femdom. You use them to pleasure your partner or use it to pleasure yourself and have your partner watch you while at it.

Vibrators

You can use vibrators to tease your partner without penetration or use for penetration if you want. You can slowly run it along your partner’s body, paying close attention to the sensitive part of his body like nipples, testicles, or penis.

You could also allow your partner to watch you while you please yourself with the vibrator.

Nipple clamps

If you know what nipple clamps are, you might be a little shocked to see this on the list of sex toys that can be used for gentle femdom. Pay attention, and it will make sense shortly. Certain nipple clamps come in pairs. Not only that, some have beads, fur, or tassels attached to them. An example is the Nipple clips red tassels. The tassel attached to it can be used to tease your partner. You could do that by running the tassel along with sensitive parts of his body.

Another clamp you can use is the Fifty shades of grey sweet tease vibrating nipple. The vibration this clamp gives off can make your partner sing your praises from now till whenever. It doesn’t cause pain, so you can use it on your partner or use it on yourself while your partner enjoys the show.

Cock rings

Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

Cock rings are worn on the lower part of the penis to make erection harder, bigger, and long-lasting. You might make your partner wear cock rings just because you love how it looks on him down there. Cock rings are said to make masturbation more pleasurable, so you can have your partner wear them while he masturbates.

Luckily, there are now cock rings that vibrate, so you can use them to pleasure yourself by placing them on. Your clit. You can slip them on your finger, your dildo, to solo please yourself or have your partner put it on his cock and make him penetrate you with the cock ring still on.

Paddle

Judging from the actions of Christian Grey to his girlfriend in the Fifty Shades movie, I’m sure you have a Paddle synonymous with pain in your memory. Nevertheless, pretty much any sex toy can be used, but you’ve to remember the aim is not to inflict pain. Instead, it’s to give pleasure. You can use a furry paddle or this leather paddle which isn’t extreme at all. You can also wrap fur or fabric around the paddle to make it more subliminal and soft, or you gently handle the paddle with a light touch.

While using sex toys, don’t forget you’re more concerned about sensation than pain. If you or your partner are entirely averse to using sex toys, your hands are also a good enough replacement. Touch your partners or make your partner use their hands to arouse you sexually.

This might even be good because when you use your hands, you know strictly what to touch to make your partner feel a certain way, and your partner gets used to your touch.

Erotic bathing

Intimate activities you could enjoy with your partner are not limited to the bedroom. You can take it as far as the bathroom. Shaving the private parts of your partners and allowing them to do the same for you are ways of intimacy. Bathing them too is a dom way of taking care of what belongs to you, and you could have them bath you in return as a form of submissiveness or servitude.

For erotic bathing, you could make use of scents like scented candles, bomb baths, or essential oils and scented shower gel to heighten your sense, relieve stress, stimulate both of you, which will ultimately lead to satisfaction.

Your partner can gently wash your body on your orders while you watch, or you could assume the role of a mother and scrub them like they were your baby instead, and after you’re done, you can cream your partner’s body and choose the clothes or accessories they will have on.

Body Worship

This is almost similar to erotic bathing. They go hand in hand. Body worship allows your partner to show reverence to your body or a particular part of your body. Body worship is mostly a submissive act, so you’d have your partner do it to you, the dominant.

Body worship or reverence could be to any part of the body like boobs, penis, vagina, and sometimes feet which are known as foot fetish. Don’t be alarmed if your partner loves and begs to worship your feet or if you particularly love your feet being worshipped. It’s known that the feet have quite a number of nerve endings that could relieve stress and even arouse you if touched.

Body worship can be expressed in different ways. These include kissing, licking, biting, sucking, dirty talk, and even massaging, depending on the body part that is being revered.

Everything about Gentle Femdom: Most Exciting Practice Ideas

Tease and Denial

Gentle femdom ideas can’t be complete without tease and denial. This involves you turning your partner on, arousing him but not giving him what he wants. It could be you delaying his orgasm. You can do this by making use of sex toys like vibrators, vibrating cock rings, or any other one you both feel comfortable with.

Teasing your partner or denying him complete pleasure as the dominatrix could be you not allowing him to touch himself or you when you know that’s what will give him sexual fulfillment.

It could also be you touching him and preventing him from making a sound and threatening to stop if he does, more like the mental bondage we mentioned earlier. After teasing and denying your partner, you can finally allow him to have what he wants as a form of reward.

FAQs

How to introduce femdom to your partner?

You’ve read all about gentle femdom, and you think you would like to try it with your partner, but you’re a bit worried about how to tell your partner or introduce him to it. You don’t have to worry too much about that because firstly, it’s gentle femdom; it is more passion inclined than pain, so your partner shouldn’t be opposed to it as much as he would if it involves some of the painful acts in Fifty Shades.

Secondly, it’s a way to spice up your sexual life and not stick to a routine or the plain old vanilla sex. You can introduce your partner to femdom by just talking about it randomly; communication shouldn’t be a problem after all if you’re comfortable with it and would grab the bull by its horn instead. You can show him this article, or you can check out some videos online, watch it together and try some of the acts after. It doesn’t get easier than that.

Do you need safe words?

We think that you very certainly need safewords even though this femdom is more on the gentle side. If you’re introducing femdom to your partner who knows next to nothing about the act and what it comprises, it is better to introduce safe words to know when something is amiss, when they’re not enjoying it anymore and would like to stop.

Safewords could be any word other than stop because you might be consumed by passion, and you might mistake the word stop for a sign of encouragement other than a sign to cease actions. Safewords could be a name of a fruit, a place, or anything that appeals to you and your partner. The most important thing is to have them in place, even if you might end up not using them. It’s better safe than sorry.

Should you try gentle domming?

Trying gentle femdom is a matter of choice, but we would say you should try it if you’re tired of vanilla sex and you with your partner would like to test the waters of kinky sex. Gentle domming is a good and safe place to start from.

Also, if you’re not new to the world of BDSM, but you would want to experience something different that doesn’t involve pain or punishment, you should try gentle domming with your dom partner if you’re the submissive one or you like to switch roles which is perfectly normal too.

Final Thoughts

Gentle femdom is a great way to have more fun in your sex life, especially if you do not like pain or the idea of inflicting it on someone else terrifies you. With all the steps and gentle femdom ideas in this article, if you decide to go into gentle femdom today with your partner, you can go from novice to being a professional dominatrix or submissive in no time with constant practice.

Gentle femdom can improve your confidence sexually, make your partner feel loved and cared for, and revive whatever spark that might be lost in your relationship. If after trying gentle femdom for a while, you can take your kinkiness to other areas of BDSM, but if you enjoy gentle domming and would rather stick to it, by all means, please do. Nobody makes the rules but you and your partner.

References

1.
What We Can Learn About Consent (And Pleasure) From The World of Kink : Shots - Health News : NPR
To make sure each partner is on the same page, kinksters have to talk about sex in a way that vanilla people — those who don’t participate in kinky activities — often don’t. Julie, a kinkster and sociologist in the Washington, D.C., area, believes that the communication kinksters have with one another distinguishes them from “vanillas.”
2.
BDSM and consent: How to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse
“Consent should be freely given, and it should be reversible at any point,” said Ms Martin, who is also executive director of the World Association of Sex Coaches. “Many people think that if you consent, that you agree until it’s done, but that’s not at all how it’s done.”
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