What is a Switch in BDSM? Special Fantasy Explained

This article will thoroughly explai what is a switch in BDSM - from pros and cons to trying it out
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Last updatedLast updated: August 19, 2021
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When you think about BDSM and what it entails, terms like dominant and submissive, bondage, discipline, sadism, and a few others may come to mind. Though these are quite common in this sexual world, there is one that is not so well known. This is the term “switch” and though it isn’t as widely used, it is an important part of some BDSM relationships.

So, what is a switch in BDSM? Well, these are people in BDSM partnerships who like to switch roles now and then. Not everyone prefers this type of role but there are more of them than you may think. They even exist in non-BDSM relationships, though in a bit of a different capacity. For more information on what a switch is in BDSM and how to try this out in your relationship, check out the following sections.

What is a ‘Switch’?

What is a Switch in BDSM? Special Fantasy Explained

A switch is a person who likes to switch roles during their BDSM play. They enjoy being both dominant and submissive, changing it up whenever the mood suits them. This makes switches sort of like chameleons in BDSM games since they can adapt to any situation, working well with subs or doms for the most part.

How to know you’re one?

It’s easier to tell if you’re a switch than you may think. If you are mainly a submissive Trusted Source I Was A Professional Submissive In A Dungeon. Here’s What It’s Really Like. | HuffPost www.huffpost.com but find yourself interested in taking control, you may be a switch. The same goes for the dominant who fantasizes about being punished now and then.

Even during regular intercourse, you can discover your switch tendencies, especially if you like to go back and forth between being on the bottom and getting on top. Enjoying both roles equally isn’t even required to be a switch. You may still prefer your dominant Trusted Source 'I Am an International Dominatrix' Right now I have 10 or 12 slaves who I see on a regular basis, and they are all men apart from one woman. www.newsweek.com or submissive role but want to change it up now and then.

There are no hard and fast rules for this type of person. Basically, as long as you’re willing to go back and forth in your roles now and then without sacrificing pleasure and comfort, you’re likely one of these types of BDSM players.

Benefits of Being a Switch

There are actually more benefits to being a switch than to sticking with one specific role in your BDSM play. Switches are more versatile, fitting in with doms and subs at the same time while deriving pleasure from both types of scenarios. Switches can also be partnered with other switches, which allows both participants to go back and forth as their mood dictates. You can experiment with both sides of the coin as you see fit.

Downsides of Being a Switch

Though being a switch seems like the perfect role, it does have a few downsides that you may not be aware of. First of all, you may not get everything you want from a single partner. If you are with a dominant who prefers to remain in that role, you will always be the submissive. The same goes for a submissive partner who doesn’t want to try out taking control. These types of partnerships are limiting to switches, so you may need to change partners more frequently or keep a few around that you can get together with, depending on your mood at the time.

Though it may make more sense for a switch to be with another switch, there are also flaws with this type of choice. If you and your partner are both feeling submissive, one of you needs to take on the dominant role, sacrificing your desires for the evening for those of your partner. This can get frustrating, especially if you are the one giving up your needs more often.

How to Try Switching

If you think you may be a switch and want to start exploring both the dominant and submissive roles, it is best not to just jump right into it. There are a few steps you may want to consider taking to ensure both you and your partner are comfortable with this type of relationship.

Talk to partner

What is a Switch in BDSM? Special Fantasy Explained

Talking to your partner is the first step to becoming a switch in your BDSM relationship. It can be a bit scary to open up in this way but if you trust your partner, you should be able to have a judgment-free discussion with them about your desires. This likely won’t be a quick conversation, so set aside some time to sit down with them when you can both focus on the topic at hand with no distractions.

You should also remember that this isn’t meant to be bad news, so it’s best not to act like it is. Get to the point as quickly and as calmly as you can, reminding your partner how much you enjoy your time with them and how attractive you find them. You may also want to add how exciting the idea of switching with them is to you, so they know that they are an important part of the equation.

After you’ve said your piece, don’t expect an immediate answer from them. Some partners may need some time to process everything you’ve said and decide for themselves if switching is something they are interested in exploring. Not everyone is interested in adding this type of play into their world, just like not everyone wants to use spanking paddles or clit clamps. Give them some time to consider their options.

If they decide they are interested in trying out switching with you, you can move on to the next step. If not, you may need to discuss an open relationship or find a partner that is more willing to meet your needs.

Ask help

If you’ve talked to your partner and they are willing to try out switching with you, it’s time to get started. Of course, since this is new to you, you may not know where to begin. Luckily, there are those who can help you with this.

If you know other doms or subs, they teach you how to play your new role by showing you the things they do with their partners. They can also show you and your partner what to do by playing the role themselves for a session or two, as long as everyone is comfortable with this.

Dirty talk

When you’re ready to take the reins yourself or give them up if you’re switching from a dom to a sub, you don’t have to jump into the kinkiest BDSM play you can imagine. Start small, with a bit of dirty talk. You can tell your partner all of those naughty things you want to do to them if you’re taking on the dom role or everything you want to be done to you in the sub role. When you’ve mastered this step, you can start adding new features to your scenes.

Baby steps

You don’t need to come up with elaborate scenarios when you’re a beginner switch since this may be too much to keep track of, especially if you’re getting used to your new role. Baby steps are best, with simple scenarios and minimal props used at first.

As you develop your skills in your new role, you can start adding new facets to your play. You can try out a sex swing, like the Purple Reins Sex Sling, which is extremely comfortable, uses an industrial-strength support fram, and is fully adjustable.

You can also start adding a few toys here and there, though it’s best not to be too complicated. Once you get used to using a toy, add another one. You can even try out some of these outside of the bedroom as you get more comfortable. The Dominix Deluxe Chastity Cock Cage has a simple 2-piece design that’s easy for beginners to manage and isn’t noticeable to the untrained eye. Make sure you’re both comfortable with the new additions before bringing them in.

Listen to your senses

Not everything you’re going to try out is going to feel as good as you expect it to. If you find that a certain game isn’t living up to your expectations or is making you feel uncomfortable, it’s best to stop what you’re doing and reconsider. You may need to make some adjustments or remove this particular bit of play from your repertoire.

Improvise

There are a wide variety of scenarios to try out during your BDSM play, so it is best to work your way through them to see which ones work best for you and your partner. You won’t love every one of them but there will be some that benefit you both, giving you the pleasure, you’re looking for.

Final Thoughts

There are a lot of aspects of the BDSM world that you may be aware of and just as many that you’re not familiar with. One of the lesser-known parts is the switch, which is someone who likes to play both the dominant and the submissive parts during play. Though thought to be rare, switches are more common than you may realize.

Now that we’ve answered the question “what is a switch in BDSM”, you may even be considering whether you are one. If so, and you have a willing partner, be sure to follow our advice by starting slowly and learning your new role before delving too deeply into new scenarios. This will ensure that you’re comfortable before you move on to more elaborate games.

References

1.
I Was A Professional Submissive In A Dungeon. Here’s What It’s Really Like. | HuffPost
2.
'I Am an International Dominatrix'
Right now I have 10 or 12 slaves who I see on a regular basis, and they are all men apart from one woman.
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