All About BDSM Wax Play – Make Your Nights Even Hotter

This article will be your guide to BDSM wax play - we'll help you make this experience safe, enjoyable and overall exciting
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Last updatedLast updated: October 05, 2024
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Wax play is a pleasurable way to heat things up in a bedroom. Maybe you don’t know, but your partner might find hot candle wax on their body exciting, arousing, and sexy. Oh yeah, candle wax fetish is a thing.

While even BDSM wax play can be pleasurable, it can also be unsafe when not practiced in the right way. After all, you’re playing with fire here (no pun intended). There are some candle and wax types you can use and there are others you must avoid. Besides that, you’ll need to take several other steps that will guarantee you safe and pleasurable play. In this article, we will tell you all about how to engage in wax play safely without taking the fun or pleasure out of it.

Safety’s First

After reading the introduction, you shouldn’t be surprised that our next discourse is about safety. After all, safety is a very important part of BDSM. Below, we’ll discuss everything you need to know about keeping yourself safe during BDSM wax play:

Wax type

Before you engage in wax play, the first thing you must do is pick the right wax type. Trust us, you don’t want to choose the wrong wax or you’ll be endangering your body or that of your submissive. To avoid danger, you should only opt for special, body-safe wax candles. Soy is a safe wax you can trust because it cools the most quickly on body contact. And it’s less likely to irritate the skin.

Another great option is paraffin wax which is perfect for more intense play because it’s hotter than soy. While soy and paraffin are great candle ingredients, there are other materials you should avoid. You want to stay away from a candle made from beeswax because it will burn your skin. Also, avoid any candle that features dyes or colorings because these extra features can change the candle’s melting point, creating the risk of a burn.

Candle type


Never pick up a random candle you have laying around for wax play or it could cause second-degree burns and scars. Unsurprisingly, soy candles Trusted Source Soy candle - Wikipedia Soy wax is made by the full hydrogenation of soybean oil; chemically this gives a triglyceride, containing a high proportion of stearic acid. en.wikipedia.org are up there with the safest as they typically burn between 49° C and 57° C—a relatively safe range for the body. Paraffin candles are also great options for wax play as the body can handle their temperature to a reasonable extent.

Additionally, you can opt for massage candles although they typically melt into a fluid consistency, unlike a hardened texture you get from wax play candles. To save yourself from avoidable headaches, you can opt for a specialized wax play candle such as the Doc Johnson Japanese Hot Wax Drip Bondage Candle—a popular choice among many users thanks to its discreetness.

While the candle burns hotter than the average massage candle, it burns cooler than your household candle for safe play.

Skincare

We dare not miss talking about skincare. Don’t for a second think about pouring wax on bare skin. You should treat your skin before you begin the exercise. Either go for lotion or oil to massage your skin. Not only does the rub ensure easy removal of wax after the play, but it also creates a sensual feeling before you introduce the heat.

Trust us, this is one step you don’t want to skip, or else, wax removal could be hell. You could do with a high-quality massage oil like the Earthly Body Strawberry Edible Massage Oil which several reviews suggest as trustworthy thanks to its natural and vegan-friendly qualities that leave the skin feeling incredibly soft.

Test drip

If you’re the dominant, we advise that you don’t get on with wax play until you test the wax on yourself. Simply drip a small amount of wax on your hand and feel how comfortable it is. By understanding the sensations your sub will feel, you can tell how they’ll possibly feel. It also gives you an understanding of how far you can go to not hurt your partner. However, you might have a higher tolerance, so you’ll need to communicate well.

We recommend test drip for subs to check for allergies for certain wax types.

Safeword

We just mentioned the need to communicate properly and creating a safeword helps you do that. Before lighting your wax play candle, you and your partner should come up with a safeword—most preferably safewords. Yellow could be “apply caution” and “red” could mean “stop!”. Once you hear your partner shout red, you should be stopping immediately.

Wax Play Basics

Away from the safety tips, let’s discuss some wax play basics you should understand before practicing this kinky act:

Clean enough space

After taking safety precautions, the next thing you should do is create a safe space for wax play. Remember, wax play involves fire and that’s something you don’t want to play within any circumstance.

Therefore, you should clean enough space for the action. Never leave flammable material lying around or nearby. Having vulnerable material around you or your partner can prove to be a disaster as the National Candle Association cautioned. Trusted Source Fire Safety & Candles There’s a special beauty and tranquility to candles, but a lighted candle is also an open flame, and a potential fire hazard if not carefully monitored. candles.org

Tie hair

If you or your partner have long hair, never start wax play without tying the hair or you could find the hair catching fire. A stray hair can easily light up during the play, so it’s best to tie it up to prevent such a situation.

Lay plastic sheet

Candle wax can leave a bit of mess on the scene of the play, leaving you to deal with some preventable work after the session. To avoid cleaning a mess after wax play, you should let your partner lie on a plastic sheet before you begin to drip wax on them. If you can’t get a plastic sheet, a piece of damp cloth can equally work to protect your floor or bedsheet.

Foreplay

As we’ve been saying all along, wax play is all about spicing up your romance and enjoying yourselves. What better way to get yourself into a great mood for wax play than engaging in foreplay? Get your partner aroused by touching them in the most sensitive areas until you’re satisfied that they’re ready for more—in this case, wax play.

Wax Play Tips

Before practicing the wax play, there are a few things you need to know to enjoy pleasurable and safe sessions. Below, we’ll provide you with some wax play tips:

Choose position

You can’t proceed with wax play without choosing a good position for your partner. There are a few positions you can choose depending on your preference. Your partner can lie on their back or lie on their stomach. They can even sit on a chair. Just ensure that you choose a position that your partner is most comfortable with.

Start small

Another tip that makes your experience pleasurable and safe is starting small. Never rush and start dripping a lot of wax. Not only does it take the fun out of the play, but it can also be dangerous. Therefore, we advise that you start small by dropping light wax drips in less sensitive areas. You can increase the intensity gradually with time and move to more sensitive areas. Just make it a gradual process.

Play with time

You can enhance the pleasure of wax play by playing with time. What this means is dropping longer drips for a period and changing them to 1 – 2 drips for some seconds. You can then return to longer drips. The slow drips raise your partner’s sense of anticipation for the longer drips, thus making the exercise more exciting.

Change the height

We must note that the closer to the skin, the hotter the sensation. Essentially, the further away from your partner’s skin, the safer. When the candle is far away, the wax gets more time to cool before contact. You should communicate with your partner to know whether they want more heat or less heat. If they want less heat, then you should raise the height of the candle to reduce the heat.

Add bondage

Your partner does not have to just lie down, you can introduce bondage into the play and restrict some parts of their body. Hot wax bondage heightens the sensation and leaves the sub vulnerable to the teasing of the dom.

Depending on your preference, you could seal your sub’s mouth with the best open mouth gag around or restrain their beast safely with a high-quality chastity cage if they have a penis. If they have breasts, the best nipple clamps with great comfortability, ease of use, and safety might just be enough.

Shapes and patterns

Don’t you think casually dropping candle wax drips is kind of boring? If you think so, we do too. One exciting way to change that is by drizzling the wax over your sub’s body to create different shapes and patterns of your choice. Alternatively, drop plenty of wax on their body and use your fingers to do some art before the wax hardens.

Hardened wax as part of play

Candle wax typically hardens after it has cooled off. The play doesn’t have to end after that. You can get more creative by running some ice cubes over the hardened wax or tapping on it. Your partner could find any of these moves pleasurable.

Try extremes

You can take your BDSM wax play to another level by whipping your waxed partner until the wax comes off. You won’t stop the whipping until all the wax is gone. Of course, you’ll need to discuss this with your partner beforehand and be sure that they’re fine with it.

More layers

You don’t have to stop dropping candle wax on an area, you could add more drips to create more layers on your partner’s body. The extra layers make the play more intense and interesting.

Aftercare

In case you didn’t know, it’s never a good idea to finish off a BDSM session without aftercare; it’s simply not right. You’ll have to treat your partner to a lot of positive things including, water, hugs, and cuddles after the wax play session is completed. Also, be there to help remove the candle wax after it’s cooled.

Final Thoughts

No doubt, wax play is an exciting sensation play that anyone who has a candle wax kink will want to explore. However, it’s not the safest kinky play as we’ve mentioned throughout this article. Nevertheless, it can be practiced safely as long as the players follow the basic safety procedures. While you should communicate properly with your partner before and during wax play, you should also provide them excellent aftercare after the session.

Besides, there are several ways to enhance wax play. You could decide to play with time or draw shapes and patterns with the drips. If that’s not exciting enough for you, you could add some pain to it by introducing bondage or/and whipping. Trust us, BDSM wax play has a way of turning on the heat (literally) and heightening the sensations to you and your partner’s pleasure.

References

1.
Soy candle - Wikipedia
Soy wax is made by the full hydrogenation of soybean oil; chemically this gives a triglyceride, containing a high proportion of stearic acid.
2.
Fire Safety & Candles
There’s a special beauty and tranquility to candles, but a lighted candle is also an open flame, and a potential fire hazard if not carefully monitored.
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