How to Use a BDSM Checklist for Perfect Experience?

With this article, you will learn what BDSM checklist is and receive a downloadable version with advice on using and discussing it
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Last updatedLast updated: August 19, 2021
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There are a lot of different types of BDSM activities to choose from, with varying kinks, fetishes, interests, and toys to try out with your partner or on your own. Of course, not everyone has the same type of BDSM play in mind, which is where the BDSM checklist comes in. These documents cover every detail of your likes and dislikes in every area of BDSM to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page before you get started with your sexy sessions.

If you’ve never made one of these before, you may not be sure what to add. There are many checklist options available, like this printable PDF one, or you can create your own to suit your needs.

What is BDSM checklist?

A BDSM negotiation checklist is a type of contract, though it isn’t unbreakable like other types of contracts. You use them to list all of the desires and interests that you are willing to explore during your BDSM play, as well as any boundaries you wish to cross.

You and your partner, as well as anyone else included in your play, should make one of these for yourselves. Then, you can compare your checklists with theirs to see where you match up, so you can plan your scenarios to ensure you’re all comfortable with the one you choose. You can also alter your checklist whenever needed, adding things you like or just learned about and removing details you are no longer interested in.

Ticks of BDSM checklists

If you are ready to make a BDSM checklist but aren’t sure what to add, the following sections are some details you may want to consider. These cover a wide variety of BDSM activities and desires, though you can add more if you find something outside of our list that interests you.

Limits

Everyone has boundaries that they don’t want to cross, which is why the BDSM limits checklist is so important. It helps you communicate those boundaries with your partner. You can also add how far you’re willing to go in certain areas.

For instance, you may be open to restraints but not want to be suspended from the ceiling or you might like light spanking but draw the line at a hard paddling. Be as specific as you can in this area, noting what you’re already aware of and adding limits wherever necessary.

Kinks

Kinks Trusted Source A New Survey Reveals Top 10 Sexual Kinks During COVID-19 Lockdown Life is lived online, that is, one of the most radical change COVID-19 lockdown has brought. From the way we learn, work, to the way we satisfy primal urges, everything has gone virtual in the past few weeks. Even BDSM play has moved online as people turn to cybersex during COVID-19 lockdown. www.prnewswire.com are sexual preferences that may not be conventional, which is common in BDSM. They can include things like masochism, sadism, restraints, and even the use of a good spanking paddle. Adding a BDSM kinks checklist is a good idea to tell your partner what you like.

Fetishes

How to Use a BDSM Checklist for Perfect Experience?

Fetishes are those objects or body parts that drive you wild, regardless of whether this makes sense psychologically. Those with fetishes are fixated on those objects, often to the point that where they get extremely turned on when seeing them and sometimes can’t perform without them.

Some fetishes include non-erotic body parts Trusted Source Eight weird fetishes that really exist - New York Daily News Some strange sexual desires — such as dendrophilia for sexual attraction to trees and avisodomy for having sex with birds — might sound as fictional as a page from “50 Shades of Grey,” but they are completely real. www.nydailynews.com , like feet or elbows, while other include items of clothing or the fabrics used to make them. Even objects unrelated to sex can become fetishes. A BDSM checklist section should be added to cover this area if needed.

Interests

A BDSM interest checklist includes those interests you have outside of the ones we’ve listed above. For instance, if you are interested in trying out a sex swing, this should be added to your interests list. There are also a variety of toys, like face strap-ons, vibrators, Fleshlights, or even anal plugs, like the We-Vibe Butt Plug, which includes 10 modes and a remote control.

You may also want to try out some interests outside of the bedroom. For instance, the Dominix Deluxe Chastity Cock Cage can be worn outside of your BDSM play area to keep you chaste and unsatisfied until your partner releases you. List all of your current interests in this section.

Consent

Consent is the most important part of BDSM since it is about pleasure rather than forcing anyone into doing things they don’t want to do. Having a BDSM consent checklist section allows you to note which parts of your checklist your partner is willing to participate in and you can note the same areas on theirs.

If you have multiple partners, you can make columns for each of them to be sure no boundaries are crossed and everyone has a great time.

Negotiation

There may be some activities or scenarios that you aren’t familiar with or are unsure about. This is where the negotiation area comes in. In this section, you can list those BDSM practices that you’re willing to discuss trying out with your partners, altering the details as needed to be sure you’re both happy with the result. You may not always get exactly what you want but can still enjoy the resulting session.

Submissive

Do you prefer to be the one who is told what to do and how to do it? If so, you’re likely the submissive in the partnership. You should add a submissive checklist section, as well as a dom-sub checklist if you like to switch back and forth. Adding how submissive you like to be is also a good idea.

Dominant

Those who prefer to remain in control need a dominant area for their checklist. You can also add how dominant you like to be since some are stricter and more intense than others.

Yes-No-Maybe

A yes/no/maybe checklist area is another great addition to your main checklist. The Yes column contains things you are into, the No column is for activities you don’t want to try, and the Maybe column is for practices you may not be ready to try out, though are open for discussion. Be as clear as possible with this part of your checklist, so your partner knows which areas can be negotiated and which ones are off the table.

Scene

How to Use a BDSM Checklist for Perfect Experience?

There are a ton of different scenes to try out, including cheerleader and football star, employer and employee, teacher and student, and so many more. A BDSM scene checklist includes all of the ones you want to try out with your partner. You can also add more as you discover them or remove the ones that don’t work as well as you expect them to.

How to use BDSM checklists

Once you’ve filled out your BDSM activity checklist, it’s time to put them to use. If you’re not sure how to do this, the following guidelines can help get you started.

1.      Be honest

Honesty is extremely important in any type of sexual activity but is especially so in BDSM since you are experimenting in practices that may not be in everyone’s comfort level. Lying to please your partner won’t help you get closer, in fact, it will create a barrier of mistrust between you. You can also force yourself or your partner into situations that are unpleasant or painful, so it is best to be as honest as possible with every section of the list you create. You should also communicate your experience level, so you aren’t pushing boundaries too quickly.

2.      Choose your time

Whether you’re discussing your BDSM checklists or right in the middle of a tasty scene, you should have no distractions. Turn off any cell phones, lock your doors, and be sure there will be no interruptions that can take you out of the moment. If you get distracted during your BDSM talks or scenes, it may be hard to get back into things, so stay focused.

3.      Talk to partner

Communication is as important as honesty since your partner can’t know what you want or wish to avoid unless you tell them. There may also be details that you may be interested in but aren’t clear on, so you can learn from each other by discussing every facet of your desires, kinks, and interests.

4.      Compare lists

Comparing your list with your partner’s shows you what you agree on and what you don’t. The more compatible your lists are, the better. If your lists don’t match up at all or if you both prefer to be doms or subs, you may need to look for alternative BDSM partners.

5.      Think thoroughly

Once you’ve compared lists, you can consider the kinks, fetishes, and desires that you share or are interested in trying out to come up with the perfect scenarios that will please you both. Discuss them as you create them, adding or removing parts until you get them just right.

Final thoughts

BDSM is a scary term for those who don’t know what it involves but it is actually more about pleasure than hurting those who participate in these scenarios. Of course, not everyone enjoys the same types of sexual activities, so it is a good idea to do some research and try out a few things before you get too far into it.

Though not everyone needs one of these, creating a BDSM checklist helps keep your likes and dislikes organized, allowing you to share them with others and comparing lists to find out where you match up. These checklists can be adapted as needed as you discover more BDSM areas.

References

1.
A New Survey Reveals Top 10 Sexual Kinks During COVID-19 Lockdown
Life is lived online, that is, one of the most radical change COVID-19 lockdown has brought. From the way we learn, work, to the way we satisfy primal urges, everything has gone virtual in the past few weeks. Even BDSM play has moved online as people turn to cybersex during COVID-19 lockdown.
2.
Eight weird fetishes that really exist - New York Daily News
Some strange sexual desires — such as dendrophilia for sexual attraction to trees and avisodomy for having sex with birds — might sound as fictional as a page from “50 Shades of Grey,” but they are completely real.
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