The culture of BDSM is all about escaping from your ordinary life, or perhaps even enhancing it. While outsiders may see BDSM as a painful sexual journey, those that adopt a BDSM lifestyle realize that it is full of rules, protocols, and safety measures. There are many aspects of BDSM that enhance the overall feeling of control or submission and one part of this lifestyle are BDSM names. These are adopted by both the Dominant and the Submissive.
There are many reasons for these names, of which we will get into in this article. Whether you are new to the world of BDSM, are a curious bystander, or simply want to see what else exists within the world, this article about names and their meanings can help you better understand the BDSM lifestyle Trusted Source What Is BDSM? 12 Types Of Dominants & Submissives | YourTango What Is BDSM? Step Right Up And We’ll Explain The Meaning Of 12 Basic Terms Describing Types Of Dominants, Submissives And D/s Relationships, What Their Rules And Roles Mean Within The Kink Community. www.yourtango.com .
Why do you need a BDSM name?
First, let’s get into why you need a BDSM name. Like most things sexual, there is no easy answer as everyone is different. However, there are few similar themes when it comes to the necessity of BDSM names.
Escapism
One essential part of BDSM is role playing. While these vary greatly, from a teacher fetish to a pseudo-rape encounter, when you are role playing you want to really commit to the scene. Calling your partner by their real name instantly takes you out of the scene.
Instead, you can adopt BDSM names that represent the current scene you are in. While some partners prefer to use similar names no matter what role playing they are engaging in, others like to vary their names and create new ones depending on what they are performing.
Furthermore, if you like to come back to certain scenes, it helps to have an already established character. This way you can more easily slip back into the role or have a continuation from the previous scene which makes things more interesting.
Asserts Roles
In a BDSM relationship, it is crucial to know who is the Dominant and who is the Submissive. Otherwise, the power dynamics just don’t work. In this case, the Dominant is usually described as Master or Sir, although preferences can range wildly.
On the other hand, the Submissive may have many different nicknames, depending on what is agreed upon.
Acts like an Accessory
In all forms of sexual relationships, some of the best parts are in the preparation. Therefore, the better you can set a scene, talk dirty, or use accessories, the more fun you will have. Names act like an accessory. They transport you into a different world where it becomes fun to imagine an alternative universe.
In addition to a name, you might want to think about other accessories. For example, the DOMINIX Deluxe is an all-purpose accessory kit to help introduce you into the world of BDSM. In addition to a comfortable ball gag, there are also easy-to-use nipple clamps.
If you want to experiment with being tied up in a safe and comfortable manner, then check out something like the Lovehoney Luxury Bondage Kit. It comes with satiny restraints, a blindfold, and a feather tickler. While more experienced BDSM relationships may experiment with leather and paddles, if you want a more comfortable introduction, go for softer fabrics.
Mimics Traditional Relationships
If you’re still wondering why BDSM names are so important, take a look at your own, traditional relationships. Did you always call your partner by their given name or did you craft personal nicknames or loving tomes?
Despite their non-traditional aspects, BDSM relationships are still relationships. They involve people that love and care for each other so it just makes sense that other names would be used.
In fact, as Time reports Trusted Source How to Introduce BDSM Into Your Relationship | Time Find out how sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Jones thinks you organically introduce BDSM into your relationship. time.com , BDSM may just be the spark your relationship needs. If you want an easy way to try out the lifestyle, start by using different names with your partner.
Naming Ceremonies
While some BDSM relationships are fleeting, many are long-term commitments. To show that you want to commit to your partner, there are a lot of rituals, such as collaring ceremonies and naming ceremonies. A collaring ceremony is where the Dominant offers the Submissive a collar, a physical reminder of their relationship. The ceremony can often have other members of the community there to show their support.
Similarly, a naming ceremony usually involves a Submissive take on a new name. This may be suggested by the Dominant but the Sub also has to agree to it. With a naming ceremony, you forget about your past and commit to your new way of life.
Often with a naming ceremony, the new name isn’t anything sexual. In can instead be a new, regular name, but the significance is in the transformation. You can have the ceremony with friends or something more informal just between you and your partner.
BDSM Name Generator
Submissive BDSM names
We’ve talked about the two main roles od BDSM, the Submissive and the Dominant. Let’s explore some popular Submissive names for each gender.
Female
Princess – When you are in a caring role as a Dominant and want to do everything for your Submissive, Princess is a good name to adapt. It connotes being taken care of, being pampered, and being the most important part of someone else’s world. Princess also connotes being spoiled and if you are using it, the right accessories can add further meaning to the name. For example, a jeweled butt plug would be perfect for a princess.
Baby Girl – Again, this term is all about caring. It’s also a name for a Submissive that has a Daddy Dom, or someone who is all about taking care of his partner. There’s an association that the Submissive is still learning but wants to please and will work hard to get things right.
Damsel – While this term may be used at any point, it especially works well in certain role playing scenes. Fairy tales, such as Sleeping Beauty, are often used in role playing and Damsel is a great name for a submissive that needs to be rescued.
Slut – This is a BDSM slave name that should be used sparingly, not only because of the negative connotation but because it can be demeaning and lead to a negative association with the experience. BDSM is all about consent, so be sure that the Submissive is comfortable with this name first.
Bitch – Similar to Slut, Bitch is a good name for certain role playing events, or if your Submissive has disobeyed orders. To constantly use it, however, is too powerful and can corrupt the power dynamics of a BDSM relationship.
Miss – This term can be used in multiple ways, which makes it so versatile. Miss can be a stand it for Little Miss or Missy, and it has a sweet connotation. Miss can also be used with a last name for a more formal setting, or when you are enacting teacher/student fantasies.
Pearl – While not as common as other submissive terms, it is still a good option. Pearl is a rare commodity; it is something unique and should be preserved. If you want to look out for your sub and treat it well, Pearl is a good name choice.
Male
Baby Boi – While we often think of men as being the Dominant, they can also be the Submissive, wither either a male or female Dominant. Baby Boi is a spin on the classic Baby girl, and can be spelled boi or boy, depending on preference. It is meant to emasculate the Submissive and put him in his place. Furthermore, it has the connotation that the Submissive has needs that will be met and that he will be cared for.
Stud – This is a very specific option and usually used with pony play. In pony play, one person is considered the horse, and sometimes even dressed up to be so. Then, the other person, the Dominant, is the trainer. Stud is a good word for this type of play as it is a name used for horses.
Sissy – Like other BDSM names, Sissy should be used sparingly or at least in only specific contexts. It is a humiliating name; one meant to completely emasculate someone or demean them away from their male status. If you are into fisting, then Sissy is a good name to use to assert your dominance over them.
Neutral
Slave – This is an all-purpose name for any gender and works perfectly in a BDSM setting. Submissives often act like slaves so it just makes sense to call them this. The name can be used in a specific role play or just used casually as a pet name.
Kitten – While this may seem like a female-centric name, it can be used for all genders. Kitten denotes an innocent animal that can’t fend for itself. Instead, it needs someone to take care of them. Kitten is great for BDSM because at its core, Dominants want to look out for and take care of their Subs.
Brat – Another name that is often associated with females, Brat can also be used with male submissives.
Doll – This BDSM name has some female connotations to it, as girls are usually the ones who play with dolls but when you look at the meaning, it can be applied to any gender. Dolls can be fragile so they need protection. But parallel to this, dolls are fun to play with. It’s the perfect mix and something any sub should aspire to be.
Baby – Hands down, this is one of the most common nicknames, both in BDSM relationships and traditional relationships. You can use it as part of longer names, which we’ve given examples to, or simply use it on its own. The nice part is that Baby is a term that translates easily from a traditional relationship to a BDSM one, so it is a nice way to ease into things.
Dominant BDSM names
Unlike Submissive BDSM names, there are few choices with Dominant names. This is because submissives don’t have the freedom to call their dominants other names. In essence, the Dominant chooses what their name will be and then the Submissive needs to call them that. However, there are choices to be had and sometimes more than one name will be allowed in the relationship.
Female
Mistress –Perhaps the most common Dominant name, this is employed when the dominant is a woman. It connotes a level of respect and power. It is often used either on its own or with another combination of BDSM names. There are many spanking paddles that will do well for a Mistress to use on her sub.
Lady – Another title that connotes power, Lady is often paired with a first name, such as Lady Jane. It shows respect and a fair attitude, meaning that punishment will only be doled out when it is necessary.
Madam – This title has a wonderful French feeling to it and is often used with more experienced female dominants. It can be left on its own or paired with another name for a longer title.
Khaleesi – If you are a fan of Game of Thrones, you will recognize this term which is in a fictional language and means princess. While specific to a piece of pop culture it is growing in popularity. Khaleesi has a regal, foreign sound to it and is a nice choice if you want to think outside the norm.
Male
Sir – This is an all-encompassing term for BDSM relationships. It is often the go-to ideal if you want to assert your power as it has roots in traditional relationships that demand respect.
Daddy – There are many different types of BDSM relationships and if you are in one where the dominant want to care for and exert a fatherly hold over the submissive, then Daddy is an important term to use.
Master – This is yet another popular choice. It connotes deep respect, obedience, and possible a bit of fear. The term can be used on its own or paired with a first name.
King – Along with similar terms such as Count or Lord, these names are not the most common. They are not likely to be used in everyday use but instead are instrumental in role playing. When paired with submissive names, such as Princess or Damsel, you can really get into the scene and enact some special adventure and rescue fantasies.
Neutral
Owner – A fairly neutral term, Owner says exactly what it is. In the world of BDSM, the Dominant owns the Submissive. It is also an apt term is you are using the word Slave for your submissive.
Boss – This is another neutral term that can be used for any Dominant. While it is more commonly used with men, it can apply to anyone in a power situation.
Your Highness – This is a great term, especially if you also adopt the terms of King or Queen. It is very formal and usually used in addition to a bow or curtesy. Again, if you are role playing a rescue scenario, it works really well.
Commander – We’re including this on the list of neutral BDSM names for two reasons. The first is that it simply works in many scenarios. Secondly, however, is that a Dominant is all about control. Gender is often fluid with many female domes adopting male personas. Commander is all about respect and is perfect in this situation.
Tips for choosing BDSM name
Despite its outward appearances, BDSM is all about consent. Both parties talk in-depth about what is off-limits and what is ok. Safe words are employed and while preferences can change, there should always be an out if things escalate outside of someone’s comfort level.
BDSM Dom names and BDSM Sub names are no exception. Again, you can change as you go along, but at the outset, it should be agreed upon what the general terms can be.
When you enter into a BDSM relationship, decide what the general terms will be for the Dominant and the Submissive. For scene-specific role playing, it’s good to go into the experience with names already picked out. You don’t want to be mid-scene, try out a name, and then find out the other person isn’t comfortable with it. Discussions ahead of time can allow you to flow through the scene seamlessly.
Final thoughts
Bondage names are an important aspect to the lifestyle of BDSM. They help you enter the new relationship and automatically connote who is the Dominant and who is the Submissive. When choosing names, you will want general terms, such as Master and Slave, that can be used at any time. However, if you like to role play, more specific names such as Stud and Damsel can be used. Whether you come up with these names organically or want to have an official naming ceremony, both parties should be in agreement with the names. BDSM names are a fun, creative way to add depth to a healthy relationship and there are certainly plenty to choose from.
