Last updated: February 14, 2024There’s no denying the fact that sex feels great, at least when done right. Both partners should feel trust and compassion while also feeling waves of euphoria. In the world of BDSM Trusted Source BDSM Sex: What Does It Mean? BDSM sex is a term for a variety of sexual practices that include bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism. Learn more about BDSM sex and how to practice it safely. www.webmd.com , there is a possibility to take that ecstatic feeling even further. This is referred to as subspace BDSM and while it can be hard to wrap your head around at first, it is the ultimate goal for many subs.
In essence, subspace in sex is when you reach such a level of euphoria, you are momentarily left with a feeling like you are floating in your own body. It is amazing and while you may think it is impossible to achieve, the reality is that it is achievable with just a bit of practice. In this article, we’ll further examine what is subspace in BDSM relationships, how to achieve it, and the necessary safety protocols that should accompany it.
Subspace can be a bit hard to understand, especially if you have never experienced it before. Furthermore, it may seem so magical that many people become skeptical of its existence.
If you are a runner, you may have heard or experienced the term “runner’s high” which happens because after a long run. You have pushed your body to its limit and are then rewarded with a euphoric feeling.
This can be applied to BDSM sex. Physically and emotionally, you have been pushed to the limit and a combination of emotions, the feeling of relief, and the release of hormones leads to the experience of subspace.
BDSM sex doesn’t have to use pain but it often does. This pain, which should always be consensual, can trigger a lot in a submissive. Whether it’s your own fears, a past traumatic event, or just the act of being hit with a spanking paddle, there’s a lot that happens in your mind as well as your brain.
Processing everything can take a lot out of you. Therefore, when BDSM sex is over, your brain and your body need to readjust and reconnect. Through this, subspace is felt. There is a pleasurable sense that you have endured some sort of punishment, enjoyed it, and have come out through it all as a much stronger person.
Hormones cause a lot to happen and in the case of subspace, they are one of the major reasons for the eventual feeling. BDSM scenes have a lot going on and they can make your body turn to a fight or flight mode. Obviously, you want to know you will be safe but in the situation, your body is sometimes tricked into thinking that danger does indeed exist.
As you work through the scene, high amounts of adrenaline and cortisol are released which tenses your body and puts you on edge.
Once a scene is over and you achieve both release and the sense that it is completed, your body has to do something with all the leftover energy. The result is an outpouring of dopamine.
So, to recap, your body is filled with adrenaline that leaves you hyper-focused and aware of what is going on and then after your climax, adrenaline is released which gives you that satisfying feeling. The mix of these intense hormones combines to create a euphoric feeling as your body tries to keep up with all the quick changes.
Try as we might, the world can’t be stopped during sex. But for a short time, you may be able to forget about the grocery list, the extra assignment from work, or even the uncomfortableness of your clit being clamped.
When everything else disappears, subspace can be triggered. Instead of trying to think about it, instead focus only on your self and your partner. When it is just a Sub and a Dom, that is when subspace can occur.
The less you think and the more experience, the better the experience will be.
One of the most important activities to help create subspace is foreplay. Set the scene. Get worked up. Find that perfect balance between pleasure and pain. Subspace needs heightened emotions and physical exhaustion. A 15-minute session probably won’t bring about these two.
Instead, give yourselves plenty of time to experiment, set the scene, and get thoroughly worked up.
Try using a variety of ties to create discomfort that can then be removed and replaced with a more euphoric feeling. For example, a face strap-on can add to foreplay and once it is removed and your sub can breathe better, it will heighten that dopamine reaction.
Similarly, nipple clamps, such as the Fifty Shades of Grey The Pinch Adjustable Nipple Clamps can provide the perfect mix of pleasure and pain that will leave your sub on edge.
An orgasm and the feeling of subspace do not have to happen together. In fact, subspace can exist completely separate from an orgasm. However, if you can merge the two, then pure fireworks can erupt.
Subspace can often be felt before an orgasm, when a sub is in the middle and is lost to the scene around them. Triggering an orgasm in this state can be equal parts enjoyable and overwhelming.
Again, communication is key. Talk to your sub and make sure they are ok to experience both sensations at the same time. Also make sure to comfort your sub immediately afterward. Their emotions will be raw and they will need to have a safe space to recover.
Now it’s time to learn how your personal role can be affected the subspace
While Doms don’t exactly experience a subspace, they can still experience a similar situation. Doms need to be in control and have to have a steady concentration. Otherwise, the scene won’t go as plan and your sub can become hurt.
However, being in the thralls of a scene, especially one you are controlling, offers its own heady experience. There can be a time when everything flows. Think about how you feel when holding a whip, like the Victor Tella’s Jordanian Galley – The Stockroom. You have control, your sub is begging for more, and only the two of you exist in that moment.
Furthermore, seeing your sub become so into the moment and achieve their own subspace, is pretty euphoric. You are the one causing the sensation and there is power in that, which translates to its own ecstatic feeling.
Subspace is more common in submissives, hence its name. Dominants are the ones in control and submissives have to react to what is happening. Even if a scene is discussed beforehand, the Dom is still the one who controls what happens next.
Common feelings in subspace include a mixture of intense feelings and sometimes incoherence. A feeling of dizziness or lightheadedness can often accompany the feeling.
One really important consideration with subspace is in regards to safety. All Subs should have a safe, no matter how long you have been in the relationship. The problem with subspace is that if you are incoherent, you might not be able to vocalize your safe word Trusted Source #TerribleSafeWord is trending, but what exactly makes a good safe word? You’ll hear this often: communication is one of, if not the most important element to a happy and healthy relationship. While ‘safe words’ have their origins in the BDSM community, they can be useful for all couples. www.bodyandsoul.com.au .
It is imperative that your Dom be familiar with the signs of subspace. Then, when you are in it, they can monitor you to ensure you are comfortable and safe. Even if someone can’t vocalize wanting a situation to stop, there should still be physical signs, such as tugging, jerking away, or moaning.
For Dominants, always ease up when a sub is experiencing subspace. Although them to process the emotions and don’t add any extra stress to the situation, just in case they need a break but can’t say it.
With all the information we’ve given you, it still might be perplexing what subspace is and how to achieve it. In this case, we recommend talking to other subs who have experienced it themselves. They can walk you through the emotions so you aren’t too overwhelmed when you experience it.
Furthermore, both a sub and a dom can learn specific ways to help trigger it. There are plenty of options but if you’ve tried a few scenes and nothing has come close, perhaps you need to try something that has worked for other partners.
Finally, even with practice and advice, remember that BDSM sex is all about you and your partner. Finding a deeper level of trust may be the key you need to fully experiencing subspace. The better you’re able to let go, the better the experience will be.
There are a lot of amazing experiences that come with BDSM. There’s pleasure, pain, and a feeling of deep trust. One of the most thrilling parts just may be the experience of subspace. This euphoric sensation is brought on by an exhaustion from the physical endurance of a scene along with the psychological emotions that come from putting your trust fully in another person. Subspace BDSM won’t happen right away. You’ll have to practice and experiment with settings, props, and situations. However, practice is pretty good in its own right, so we’re sure you’ll be ok with it.
