How to Stretch Anus – Gentle Bum Play

From this article, you will learn how to stretch anus - from preparation advice to aftercare tips with a wide choice of toys and methods
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Last updatedLast updated: March 01, 2024
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To many, anal sex can seem intimidating. It can seem scary and appear to be painful, which is why many never engage in it. However, whether you are gay or straight, anal sex may be an experience you really want to try out. As with any type of sex, you want to be as comfortable as possible. This is why it is important to know how to stretch anus before anal sex. Going right at it will only lead to pain. Instead, you should go slowly and work yourself towards the final feeling. The good news is that there are many pleasurable methods of anal stretching.

How Much Can the Anus Expand?

Even though there are very large dildos on the market, and you’ve probably run into a few men who have boasted about their exceptionally large members, the human anus can really only expand to about 5 inches. Everyone starts out differently, but 1 to 2 inches is the average starting point Trusted Source Anal canal Anal canal, the terminal portion of the digestive tract, distinguished from the rectum because of the transition of its internal surface from a mucous membrane layer (endodermal) to one of skinlike tissue (ectodermal). .

Is it safe?

When done correctly, anal stretching is perfectly safe. The main points to remember is to take it slow, stay comfortable, and keep communicating.

Also, don’t you dare forget lube. The anus is not self-lubricating Trusted Source What do I need to know about anal sex? Me and my girlfriend are going to going to try having anal sex for the first time .. and she is not very convinced about how safe is anal sex ? can pregnancy be achieved by anal sex ? what are the consequences of anal sex? , which means you can more easily tear than from vaginal penetration.

Is it permanent?

The anus has a lot of functions, among them pooping. To put it bluntly, you don’t want to worry about your anus stretching so far that you aren’t able to control your own bodily functions.

There’s no need to panic, however. Your anus will not stretch permanently. Instead, anal stretching works to make your anal muscles more flexible. Then, you will be able to take larger devices inside of you with more pleasure.

Stretching Preparation

There are a few key facts you can do to get ready for your anal stretching sessions.


While absolutely not necessary, many people prefer to douche before anal play. This may not be a priority when playing with plugs but it may be something you want to try before anal sex.

Douching involves squirting water into your anus and then letting it drain, thus eliminating anything in the canal.

To be honest, anal play can get a bit dirty. While you most likely will not poop mid-session, if you are worried about this possibility, give yourself some peace of mind and douche a few hours beforehand.


Have we already discussed lube? Well, we’re going to keep discussing it. Lube is absolutely essential, even when you are starting out with smaller butt plugs. Without lube your anal muscles can tear, which is not only painful, but can allow bacterial infections to form.

Do yourself a favor and purchase water-based lube, and plenty of it.

Avoid numbing effects

Those that are worried about the pain from anal play may be tempted to use a numbing agent. However, this should absolutely be avoided.

The problem with numbing effects is that they make it so you can’t feel what is happening. Then, if you are stretched too far or you experience tearing, you are unaware of it and can’t stop it from happening.

The more preparation you engage in with anal stretching, the better it will feel. Thus, you won’t need to use numbing effects.

Anal Stretching Tips

Before you get started on this experience, we want to offer some tips on how to safely stretch your anus.

Start small

While the end result may be why you want to begin with anal expansion, remember that it’s a journey. The destination may be what you’re looking forward to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the process along the way.

Always start small. It’s best to try an anal stretching starter package that includes multiple plugs of different sizes. Even if the smallest one looks manageable, be sure to start there. It’s far better to start small and realize you can handle a larger size than it is to start too big and hurt yourself.

Don’t rush

Always take your time with stretching your anus. You might need more time than other people, and that’s ok. Go at your own pace and don’t think about how far you still need to go. Instead, think about what you’ve already accomplished.

If you are using a set of butt plugs, it’s ok to stop on one size and spend more time on it. This is all part of the process and even staying on a medium size will help you with stretching.

The Inspire Silicone Dilator Training Set is a good way to practice because it offers both width and depth with its trainers. You may need to pause along the way to become better used to the length of these devices, and again, that is perfectly normal.

Practice frequently

As with anything, practice makes perfect. There are no shortcuts to anal stretching, at least none that don’t end in pain. Instead, you simply need to keep practicing.

If you can, aim to use a plug at least once a day. This can even be fore a few minutes at a time. While you may want to only use a plug when you are in a sexual mood, you may find that you need at add extra sessions.

The more you move around with a plug, the better the experience will be. Try to walk around and chance positions to help with the stretching.

If you can incorporate anal stretching into a fun time with your partner, you will see it as less of a chore. There are many anal vibrators that are small enough for this purpose and can allow you to start to experience the joy of anal play.

Comfortable position

While you will want to eventually move around, it is best if you start out as comfortable as possible. Good starter positions include lying on a bed on your side with your knees bent towards your chest.

If you are with your partner, you may want to lie on your stomach or up on all fours. The easier access your partner has, the more comfortable they can make you feel.

What can Stretch Your Anus?

Finally, it’s time to discuss your anal stretching options. Now that there are more toys than ever for this experience, you can find something that works best for you.


Butt plugs are perhaps the simplest and most effective toys you can use. They come in many different sizes and most offer multiple options in one package. Start with the smallest and use it until you are completely comfortable with it. Then, move on to the next size.


While dildos are not the best for beginners, at some point you will want to make use of one. Dildos come in different sizes, so you want to start with a small, thin option. Dildos are a great intermediary stage as they provide the length that plugs don’t always have.

The one thing you absolutely want to avoid at the beginning is advanced toys. For example, while anal hooks are great for those with experience, they are far too rigid for beginners. While you can certainly purchase new toys in anticipation, wait until you are ready to actually enjoy them.

Inflatable plugs

Another option is an inflatable plug. This works with you inserting a small plug. Once it is comfortably inside, you can then easily inflate it with a small pump. The Lovehoney Vibrating Inflatable Butt Plug is a great product as it allows you to control how full your feeling is. Furthermore, insertion is easier as it will be a smaller size at the beginning.

Anal Stretching Methods

If you are ready to try anal expansion, there are a few steps you should consider. These can be done with your partner or by yourself. Remember that if you have a partner helping you to always be in constant communication. Pressure is ok but pain should always be avoided.

Warming up

First, warm yourself up. Not necessarily heat-wise, but think more of foreplay. One of the primary reasons for anal stretching is intercourse, so start as you would in a typical situation.

If you are with your partner, engage in foreplay. Lots of kissing and caressing will make you feel more at ease. It will also turn you on, and therefore you may be more inclined to try anal stretching.

On a more practical sense with warming up, you should always warm up your toys. Butt plugs can be quite cold and this can be a huge distractor. The good news is that most toys warm up easily. Either pop them in your mouth for a minute or place them under hot water. Just never microwave your toys as this can permanently damage them.


Along with the theme of warming up, be sure to engage in a massage, especially if you have a partner with you. Allow them to explore your nether regions, perhaps even teasing you slightly. Remember that the more into the session you are, the more relaxed you will be and the easier the process will feel.

Plugs and dilators

Once you are ready, you can insert a plug or dilator. Always use lube. Again, we will repeat this. Always use lube. Even if you feel completely turned on and ready, lube is essential for anything anal.

Your anus just does not secrete enough natural lubricant on its own and it needs a helping hand. You can opt to place lube around your anus, on your butt plug, or better yet, in both places.

Lube can also be used in the massage stage and should be looked at as an enhancement and not merely a necessity.

Always start with smaller plugs and work your way up to larger ones. Even if you think you can handle a larger plug, you may overestimate your abilities.

Let the butt plug settle in so you can get used to the feeling. Try to leave it in as long as possible. Also, it helps if you can move around a bit to get used to a different sensation.


Along with a butt plug, you can definitely have your partner finger you. Most small butt plugs are roughly the size of one finger, so this is a good place to start.

The one problem with fingers is that they are not as tapered as plugs, and therefore they can be harder to insert. You may want to wear a glove to help slide a finger in.

Go slowly with a finger. They are much longer than butt plugs so you might want to go up to the first knuckle at first. Then, once you feel more comfortable, you can play around with further insertion or even more fingers at a time.


After each time you use a stretching device, you want to make sure you employ a bit of aftercare.

Clean up

Anal stretching can get a bit messy, so be sure to clean all of your toys thoroughly. Leave them to air dry before putting them away. You may also want to have a cleansing shower.

Check for bleeding

As careful as you may be, there might be a bit of tearing. Use a cloth and gently wipe your anus to check for bleeding. If there is any, take a bath with Epsom salt. This will make you feel comfortable and help to repair the tissues quicker.

Also, if there is bleeding, it’s best to wait a few days before you use a stretcher again.


It’s important to congratulate yourself on small milestones. Relax and be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished.

Final Thoughts

When you are ready to experience anal sex, there is some preparation that needs to happen first. Anal stretching involves slowly expanding your anus so that you can take a full-size penis. This is a process and can take time, so give yourself room to experiment and be comfortable. If you are going through the process with your partner, be sure to communicate how you are feeling. Start with smaller plugs and slowly work your way up to larger ones. Always use lube. How to stretch anus can take a bit of time but there are many toys you can use to make the whole experience a pleasurable one.


Anal canal
Anal canal, the terminal portion of the digestive tract, distinguished from the rectum because of the transition of its internal surface from a mucous membrane layer (endodermal) to one of skinlike tissue (ectodermal).
What do I need to know about anal sex?
Me and my girlfriend are going to going to try having anal sex for the first time .. and she is not very convinced about how safe is anal sex ? can pregnancy be achieved by anal sex ? what are the consequences of anal sex?
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