BDSM relationships involve various plays, including choking. While choking can be fun, things can quickly go downhill if care is not taken. Essentially, choking can be quite dangerous when done wrongly. You canโt be surprised about this or are you? Constricting someoneโs airways is always going to be a dangerous move.
However, choking can be done safely if the right steps are taken. This article will discuss the dangers of BDSM choking, important safety tips, and the conditions you must satisfy before engaging in a safe practice. Even though adhering to the safety conditions can reduce the risk of trouble, we canโt rule out danger. Hence, weโll also explain how you can get out of trouble.
Besides, there are numerous ways to explore BDSM choking. So, if youโre seeking to learn all about safe choking, help is here. Ride along with us as we dissect everything about BDSM choking.
What Chocking Does to Your Body
As we hinted earlier, choking is basically someone restricting your airflow. And you know what that means; thatโs stopping you from breathing properly. Even though choking puts you in danger, it can provide some sexual and psychological satisfaction.
As a submissive, you most probably enjoy being choked and overpowered by your dominant. Knowing that your dom is completely in control can drive you crazy in ecstasy. Besides that, choking can give you a lightheaded feeling that may feel good. Also, it can provide a euphoric feeling that raises all the senses. Additionally, choking can turn you on for kinky sex.
Dangers to consider
Since the beginning of this article, weโve not shied away from the important fact that BDSM choking comes with some dangers that must be considered before practicing. Moreover, choking is a form of breath play that partially or fully blocks the supply of oxygen. With the absence of oxygen, many things could go wrong.
- Brain damage
- Irregular heart rates
- Cardiac arrest
- Difficulty breathing
- Coughs
- Hoarse voice
- Headaches
- Difficulty swallowing
- Lightheadedness
- Red spots on the face
- Death
Safety Tips for Choking Kink
Inasmuch as we understand how dangerous BDSM choking can be, we wonโt ask you not to do it, especially if you have a choking kink or fetish. Rather, weโll provide you important tips that can help you practice it safely without any risk of brain damage, cardiac arrest, or even death. Below are some safety tips to master:
- Always develop safe words before engaging in BDSM choking so that the sub can tell you when to stop and you can understand them.
- Come up with gestures that can help your sub communicate with you in case they canโt vocalize their feelings. Such gestures can include the sub holding up their fist or snapping their fingers.
- Discuss health conditions in advance. If the sub has asthma, a breathing or heart condition, or a history of anxiety issues, you should proceed with caution or better still, avoid choking them.
- Donโt practice BDSM choking while any of the participants is under any influence of alcohol or drugs.
How to Make Choking Benefit for Both
Despite the risks involved in choking, it can still be beneficial to both the dom and the sub. However, this involves learning how to choke in BDSM properly. Below are various ways to explore BDSM choking, so that both parties can benefit:
1.ย Always discuss
The number one condition for safe BDSM choking is communication. Specifically, you should always discuss with your partner before choking them. Of course, you can surprise your partner with different sexual plays, but choking is not one of them due to the health implications.
Besides, choking your partner without their prior knowledge is a bad surprise and can open the door to all sorts of troubles. Having a conversation with your sub before doing BDSM choking can help you understand their limit and if itโs safe for them.
Do you want another reason why itโs bad to surprise your partner by choking them? Choking them suddenly can trigger past trauma that youโre not aware of. Even if thereโs no trauma to be triggered, you need to know whether your partner is cool with being choked.
Furthermore, you should never practice nonconsensual choking because you might be crossing the thin line between consent and abuse. And we donโt need to remind you that abuse has no business with BDSM choking. Nonconsensual choking is violence and abuse as reported by The Guardian, Trusted SourceThe fatal, hateful rise of choking during sex | Domestic violence | The Guardian Too many womenโs lives are ending after what those accused of their deaths say were โsex games gone wrongโ. But how did strangling ever become normalised? www.theguardian.com so youโll do well to only choke someone who has given their consent.
Also, never forget that BDSM is built on mutual consent. Therefore, any practice that doesnโt involve consent is basically abuse and that should never happen.
Besides, after getting the consent of your partner, you should both discuss expectations. You should understand how they like to be choked (gentle or intense) and when they like to be chokedโwhether multiple times during sex or only during orgasm.
2.ย Learn anatomy
By now, you know that choking constricts airflow but how does it do that? Choking applies pressure to the blood-rich carotid arteries on either side of the neck. If you didnโt know, these arteries transport blood rich in oxygen from someoneโs heart to their brain. So, if the person is choked, the implication is the restriction of blood supply to their brain.
Hence, if choking goes on for far too long, it can cause brain damage and permanent damage to the larynx and carotid arteries. However, some people apply pleasure to the windpipe while choking which is even more dangerous. Besides that, applying pressure to the arteries seems to create a giddy and euphoric feeling that heightens sensations.
Before going ahead with choking your partner, you should learn the anatomy of choking. The anatomy tells you that choking for too long will cause the person being choked to pass out. So, youโll need to press your subโs neck and figure out the pressure that works for them.
3.ย Learn to control strength
One thing you canโt afford while choking your partner is losing control and going beyond your boundaries. If youโre going to practice safe BDSM choking, youโll need to learn to control the intensity. Going beyond the limit of your partner can have devastating consequences.
4.ย Train first
One of the negatives of porn is projecting a false reality. Frankly, youโll be causing yourself and your partner a whole lot of trouble if youโre learning to choke from porn. Essentially, porn is a poor way to learn choking. Ignore porn and train yourself. As we mentioned earlier, you shouldnโt squeeze your partnerโs windpipe. Rather, press either side of their esophagus.
5.ย Be mindful
Another condition you need to satisfy for safe BDSM choking is being mindful of what youโre doing. You should always be in control of the process because a one-second lapse of concentration could cause trouble. Therefore, you should never get carried away while you choke your partner.
Moreover, choking your sub under the influence of alcohol or drugs can cause you to lose focus which can be dangerous, especially when your partner needs you to stop immediately. If youโre not mindful of what youโre doing, you could miss your subโs communication asking you to stop, thus getting yourself and your partner into avoidable trouble.
6.ย Safeword
A huge condition for safe BDSM choking is communication. Since things can go wrong in a flash, quick communication can be the saving grace. Effective communication in choking requires coming up with safe words that your partner can use to get you to stop. Remember that consent plays a significant role here, so the sub will have the final say.
Besides, safewords can be single-syllable words that can be called very easily. You can even incorporate the traffic light system in such a way that saying โyellowโ asks your dom to slow down and โredโ asks them to stop immediately.
However, verbal safewords can be impractical in some situations when itโs hard to speak. So, you need to create nonverbal signals (safewords) too. Some nonverbal cues include raising your hands, snapping your fingers, shaking your head, tapping your partner, and dropping a metallic object on the floor. Doing any of those should tell your partner to stop.
7.ย Use equipment
Although the common method of choking is using the bare hands, other materials can help. One of them is BDSM choking collar. With the collar, itโs easier to maintain a specific pressure. However, if the collar is pulled too hard, there could be trouble.
Besides choking collar, introducing other BDSM equipment into the play wonโt do any harm. Think about using a nicely designed clit clamp to squeeze your subโs clit while you choke them. If that doesnโt sound exciting enough, you can even bring a high-quality spanking paddle into the mix. That means you can spank them while you choke them, allowing you to heighten the sensations.
Another option is getting your sub to wear a face strapon while you choke them. Of course, you should find the best face straponโmost preferably a breathable gagโfor this to avoid safety issues. If you do this, youโll need to be extra alert to your partnerโs communication.
Or better still, go for a bondage kit that comprises multiple BDSM equipment. One that has been a subject of glowing reviews is the Bondage Boutique Dominant Dream Bondage Kit. The 6-piece kit is made from suede and faux leather for BDSM play. Also, the kit includes cuffs, flogger, lead, ball gag, and blindfold for a sensational choking experience.
If that didnโt tickle your fancy, maybe the cheaper and equally high-quality Bondage Boutique Black Rose Collar with Nipple Clamps will. This kit includes a stylish collar as well as a lead and nipple clamp set for various levels of bondage plays.ย There are also O-ring clip connectors available to add or remove accessories.
8.ย Aftercare
Aftercare is a necessary final step for every BDSM action. After youโre done choking your sub, you should try to refresh them physically and mentally. You can stroke each otherโs bodies, cuddle under soft blankets, or do any other thing that your partner finds refreshingโmentally and physically.
In Case of Danger
Frankly, you canโt rule out danger when it comes to choking. As weโve hinted before, the implication of extreme BDSM choking is your partner passing out. To prevent things from getting worse, youโll need to perform Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) on your partner. And thereโs no way to perform CPR if you donโt learn it.
Besides, CPR is mainly performed in two ways: hands-only and rescue breaths. Hands-only CPR is basically chest compression. And it involves placing the heel of your hand on the breastbone at the center of your subโs chest, placing your other hand on top of your first hand, and interlocking your fingers
according to the UK's National Health Service (NHS).
Trusted SourceFirst aid - CPR
- NHS
Find out how to safely use cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) for adults, children over one year of age and babies under one year of age.
www.nhs.uk
On the other hand, CPR with rescue breaths requires performing chest compressions while giving rescue breaths. Rescue breaths require sealing your mouth over the victimโs mouth and blowing steadily into their mouth.
Final Thoughts
Without any doubt, choking can add unique sensations to BDSM play despite its many safety concerns. However, since choking canโt be actually obliterated from BDSM action, the best move is to ensure the safety of the sub always. This article contains safety tips that you must follow to ensure that your partnerโs health is not threatened while you choke them.
Besides that, the importance of communication canโt be overemphasized. BDSM choking requires effective communication to be done properly and safely. Additionally, aftercare must be taken seriously and administered after every session. Lastly, you must learn the safety procedures that can be administered in case of danger to ensure that your partner is not left without care when it matters the most.