Last updated: February 26, 2024Any time you watch a movie or a TV show, sexual penetration seems so effortless. But in reality, there are many subtle nuances that will decide if it is pleasurable. A larger component of intercourse is lubrication, and as a female, you hope that it comes naturally.
Whether you have had issues in the past or are just aware of the subject, you might be wondering how to get yourself wet. This common phrase refers to the natural secretions your vagina makes when you are aroused.
In this guide, we’ll dive into how to make a vagina wet, both by yourself and with the help of your partner. The goal is not to be embarrassed by this common issue but instead to find creative solutions to make sex more enjoyable.
Being wet is a euphemism for the secretion of natural lubrication inside a vagina. The vagina is capable of creating arousal fluids but the anus is not, so this is something to be aware of. If you aren’t sure what it looks like, most women will produce a liquid in their vagina that has a clear or slightly milky look to it.
The fluid is released from glands throughout the vagina so, unlike male ejaculate, it isn’t always noticeable. However, the absence of vaginal lubrication is quite noticeable. If you are engaging in penetrative sex and are not wet, the whole experience can feel terrible. You can feel a raw, chafing sensation. Furthermore, this chafing can lead to small cuts or tears in your vagina, which could potentially lead to an infection.
When you are aroused, blood rushes to your sex organs. Your vulva, vagina, and clitoris can become engorged, which makes them more sensitive. With the excess blood, your body will then force moisture to leave your body through the vagina.
You can become wet at various stages of arousal, and the goal is to sustain that wetness. This means that during foreplay and actual sex, whether it is with your hand, a toy, or a penis, you maintain a level of wetness so that you don’t become uncomfortable or are in pain.
The wetter you are, and the longer you can sustain this, the longer comfortable sex can go on. While longer sex is not always the goal for both parties, not having a deadline for when sex needs to end means you can relax more and enjoy yourself.
If you are having issues getting wet naturally, many people turn to lube. Lube is not the same as getting wet as you need to add an external substance, but it is a perfectly healthy way to help your body out. In fact, many sex experts recommend using lube, no matter how wet you feel. The more lubricated you are, the better, no matter whether it is natural-occurring or not.
If you are in the market for a lube, there are many to choose from. Water-based lubes are the most common. They offer a thin sensation and won’t stain your clothes. Silicone-based lubes are also a good idea if you want a lube with more staying power.
When using lube around your vagina, you may want to be careful about maintaining a delicate balance. We advise you to check out our reviews of the best lubes for pH balance, so you don’t have to worry about yeast infections when using lube.
The term getting wet can be confusing because it does not mean getting wet from water. Water is not a lubricant and should not be used as one. Water dries far too quickly and will lead to chafing, which can not only be uncomfortable but can lead to small cuts and abrasions.
Many couples will hop in a shower together for some steamy time, or you may want to relax in a bubble bath. These are good options to heighten your arousal but the water from a shower or bath can actually wash away any natural lubricant you may have produced.
If you want to engage in sexual acts in the shower or bath, we recommend using a store-bought lubricant. Water-based lubes are not useful in these instances as they will dissolve with too much water. Instead, you can select from this compilation of the best lubes for the shower. On this list, you will find many silicone lubes and thicker lubes that create a barrier from shower water, so you continue to have that wet, aroused feeling.
There aren’t many products on the market specifically meant to address vaginal wetness, but luckily there are some.
Our favorite is OH! Boost, a supplement that was recently developed by Vitaliboost designed to increase vaginal wetness. It does so by supporting and maintain healthy vaginal biome, as well as giving your body the building blocks that it needs to maintain healthy vaginal moisture levels.
OH! Boost utilizes a blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and natural ingredients that have been scientifically proven to promote vaginal lubrication.
By providing essential nutrients and hydration to the vaginal tissues, this supplement aims to alleviate discomfort and enhance overall sexual wellness. OH! Boost is a safe and effective option for women seeking a natural way to improve vaginal moisture, leading to increased comfort, pleasure, and confidence in their intimate experiences.
Whether you want to enjoy a round of masturbation or want to prepare yourself for sex with a partner, there are many ways to get wet all on your own. If you know that it takes a while for this to happen naturally, you can start on your own before engaging in sexual intercourse with a partner so you don’t feel as much pressure.
Even when masturbating by yourself, being well-lubricated will help you enjoy the sensations more.
Knowing your own body is incredibly important, whether you are by yourself or with a partner. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to identify what feels good, which will help you create that wet sensation you’re after.
Block out a period of time where there will be no interruptions. No phone calls, no work, nobody else around. Then, head to your bedroom and start exploring. It is amazing how many women have never touched their whole body, let alone seen it.
It might take some time to become familiar with your whole body and even more time before you feel comfortable enough to use a mirror and look at yourself. But this is your body and there is nothing to be ashamed about.
As you explore your body, pay attention to what feels good. Spend more time on those areas. Apply different amounts of pressure and see how you react. For example, your body might respond differently if you lightly graze your nipples versus if you pinch them.
There are many reasons to engage in this exploration. First, it helps you get to know your body, which will allow you to feel more comfortable and even amazed at what it can do.
Second, once you know what feels good, you can communicate that to a partner. As much as we wish, our partners are not mind readers. If you can help direct them to the parts of the body you like being touched, and can gently give them advice or directions, you will feel better. And don’t worry; your partner wants that feedback and will be happy to receive it.
What are your secret desires? When have you read a book or seen a movie and wondered how that would feel? Fetishes have a stigma but there is nothing to apologize about. It is simply how your body was built and you are honoring what arouses you.
Common fetishes include feet and tongue fetishes, but there is a wide range to be aware of. Again, start with times when you’ve felt that butterfly feeling in your stomach and work off of that
Kinks can be as simple as wanting your tongue sucked on during sex or more extreme bondage ideas. To help you fulfill these fantasies, look for toys or accessories you can purchase. For example, if you’ve always wanted to be in the dark while your partner pleasures you but also want them to focus on your mouth, you can try the DALAOCU Full Cover Zentai Hood Mask. Take the time to research your options and don’t be afraid to try new toys.
A messy bedroom does not inspire arousal. Neither does a looming deadline or a long list of chores waiting to be done. Setting the atmosphere can help you relax, which signals to your body that you are ready for intimacy, which can help with that wet feeling you’re craving.
Setting the mood will differ for everyone. Some women may want to light scented candles, relax in a sumptuous bubble bath, or play relaxing music. Others may want to devour a steamy romance novel or even watch a porno movie. And sometimes you may alternate what you want, which is also okay.
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If you have an imaginative mind, you mind want to lay back in bed or in the bath with a steamy read. There are plenty of erotic romances that are quite descriptive. These are often more accessible for women than porn as relationships are established and it is easier to imagine yourself as the heroine of the book.
The more control you have over the environment, the more your body can relax. Take those few moments to set the area up how you want it so that you can focus on your body and nothing else.
Thanks to technology, the methods of foreplay are expansive. It can be hard to flirt with your partner, even if you have been together for a long time, but through text messaging, suddenly inhibitions are forgotten.
Sexting with your partner can help you feel flirty and more confident. Plus, you get a chance to understand how they are feeling. When your partner tells you they want you, you can feel more attractive and confident. And, if they are willing you give you more details, then that feeling of arousal will amplify.
Toys are always a great idea, both for foreplay and intercourse. Toys can help you get in the mood, which should naturally lubricate you. When using toys by yourself, look for ones that are gentle or easy to use.
Wand massagers are an excellent device to start with as you can select a lower setting to use on different body parts. Work the massager around your body and pay attention to how your body responds. If the goal is to get wet but not climax, keep the massager either at a low setting and avoid overly sensitive areas such as your clitoris.
Another way to use a wand massager is to slowly edge yourself. This is where you select a pulsing mode on the massager. It will tantalize you in a good way but won’t be strong enough to push you over the edge.
The Kyro Wand Massager is an excellent option as it has six speeds and five vibration patterns. It also has two extra attachments if you want more expansive ideas for self-pleasure.
Similar to setting the right atmosphere, you want to help relax yourself. So often we rely on other people to massage our bodies, but we are capable of doing this, too. You can use your hands as they are or invest in a fragrant oil and lightly rub this over your body. If you are worried about the mess, simply hop in the shower or run a bath afterward.
Take a look at your bed and decide if it conveys that relaxing atmosphere or not. Are the sheets clean and if so, are they of decent quality? A few throw pillows can create a softer environment and if it is within the budget, a decent memory foam mattress will make you want to sink into the supportive comfort.
As much as we want to change our bodies, the fundamentals of being healthy are where we need to start. So much of how we feel is directly linked to our diet and water consumption.
We all know how important it is to drink water, and yet so many of us forget or can’t be bothered. If you’re reading this right now, stop and grab a glass of water before continuing.
Some people like to motivate themselves by purchasing fun water bottles. There are those that insulate cold water and others that show just how much water you are drinking. You can even install free apps that help you track your water consumption.
As for diet, we aren’t suggesting you give up on all the yummy treats that you love to eat. Instead, we suggest adding more healthy foods to increase the nutrient intake in your diet. Aim for at least five servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Again, you can use an app to track your intake and motivate you.
The healthier you are, the better your body will function. Sometimes vaginal dryness is a result of poor nutrition, so making a few small changes can help in this department. Furthermore, when you eat better you feel better about yourself and have more energy. This, in turn, can lead to a higher sex drive, which can make feeling aroused a lot easier.
We all have things to do. Laundry to clean, kids to pick up from school, dinner to be made. In all this hustle and bustle, foreplay is often forgotten. If you feel that you aren’t as wet as you used to be, it may be time to go back to the basics and engage more in foreplay.
Think back to when you were a teenager or a young adult and you spend hours making out with your partner. Try to capture that feeling again. You can even force yourself to stick to foreplay by setting a timer. You may be surprised at how good it feels when you agree to take your time.
Foreplay can encompass many aspects. Massage, kissing, touching with or without clothes. Be creative and slow down. This will allow your body to warm up on its own slowly and you won’t feel the pressure to be ready right away.
Finally, if you have tried our advice and nothing is working for you, it may be time to see a doctor. It can be hard to talk to a doctor about sexual activity or private areas but we need to push past this. If dryness is affecting your sex life and you are unhappy about it, it’s okay to want a chance. Being sexual should be celebrated and finding a way back to happiness is an important part of your well-being.
Many women prefer talking about intimate subjects with female doctors. Unfortunately, many family doctors are still male. However, ask your friends who they have as a doctor, and don’t be afraid to look for a doctor that you feel comfortable with.
If you live in a larger city, there may be medical clinics that specialize in either sexual health or female health. These can be good places to visit as the doctors and nurses will be more used to topics around sex.
For those women who want to be wet and ready before sex, the lead-up can be the most important time. This is an opportunity for you and your partner to work together to ensure the most comfortable and enjoyable moments for both of you.
What better way to make your vagina wet than to focus some attention on it? Cunnilingus can be done before or during sex and will help you become wet and ready. As your partner goes down on you, not only will you become more aroused, but the saliva from your partner will transfer to you, acting as lubrication.
If you want to make it easier for your partner to go down on you, you can also try out a sex pillow, such as the Liberator Microfibre Sex Position Wedge. This is firmer than a normal pillow and is in a triangle form so you can shift your hips up for easier access for your partner.
For some women, the act of cunnilingus is incredibly intimate. If you are feeling uncomfortable with the idea of your partner going down on you, be sure to talk to them. Know that feminine smells are completely natural and every vulva looks differently. It can be reassuring to see how aroused your partner is when they are eating you out, so you know that they are getting enjoyment out of it, too.
Unfortunately, as this study shows, Trusted Source Oral, Vaginal and Anal Sexual Practices among Heterosexual Males and Females Attending a Sexual Health Clinic: A Cross-Sectional Survey in Melbourne, Australia - PubMed Sex practices among heterosexuals are not well studied. We aimed to explore sexual practices among heterosexuals attending a sexual health clinic. This cross-sectional survey was conducted at Melbourne Sexual Health Centre between March and April 2019. Data were collected on kissing, oral sex (fella … pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov  men are still more likely to be the recipient of oral sex. If you feel like you are the one who is always performing oral sex on your partner, it might be time for a conversation. Sex isn’t always about the same number of sex acts performed by each partner, as everyone has different requests. However, if you want more oral sex in your life, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Perhaps to set the mood, you went ahead and gave yourself a massage. Before sex, you can turn this task over to your partner. Hopefully, you will know your body better, so you can guide your partner to particular body parts. Gentle encouragements and well-timed moans can let them know what you like the most.
If you feel comfortable, you can even hand over control of the massage to your partner. Wear a blindfold and delight in the senses of your body as your partner gently, and then not so gently, massages you.
There are some toys you can use in this stage. Wand massagers work really well, and scented oils are always encouraged. You can even select from this list of the best finger vibrators. You can insert your fingers into them and they provide subtle vibrations wherever you want your hands to roam.
It’s always a good idea to give yourself time to really enjoy the massage. This way your partner can take their time teasing you and you can relax and feel your body opening up. This is an easy and enjoyable method to make yourself wetter.
The ears are often an erogenous zone for women. Having your partner whisper in your ear can send tingles down your spine, and if they pair it with a gentle nibble of your earlobe, this can make it all the better.
It’s usually a lot easier to whisper naughty suggestions than it is to speak in a normal voice, so let your inhibitions run wild while you and your partner whisper to each other.
The very act of whispering means you need to be in close proximity to each other. Whispering often involves cuddling and you can take the opportunity to let your hands roam and explore.
As we get older, kissing sometimes loses its importance. We know how to kiss and we aren’t teenagers anymore. We’re past the stage and looking for the big bang. But maybe it’s time to slow down and return to kissing.
The more you kiss your partner, the closer you can feel to them. If you are in a long-term relationship, think about the last time you kissed your partner. Not just a peck on the lips but a deep, sensual kiss. Chances are it was during sex. But what if you started to kiss more often, even when just passing through the kitchen together?
Getting yourself ready before sex can mean a few minutes before intercourse or hours before. When you see your partner leave for work in the morning, kiss them deeply. This can lead to both of you anticipating the night to come.
Spend more time kissing before sex to allow your body to relax and get in the mood. Take your time getting reacquainted with your partner’s body as they feel your own body. Don’t get rid of your clothes all at once. Instead, play around with the different textures of clothing and how playful petting feels.
Keep returning to kissing to re-ignite that intense connection between you and your partner. Kissing serves an important function so enjoy it.
You’ve worked so hard to get wet, spending time in foreplay, massage, and relaxation. But what if that feeling of wetness disappears when you engage in intercourse? Luckily, there are a few options.
First, check in with your body. Are you still relaxed? Do you feel good with your partner? Has anything changed to make you feel uncomfortable? If there is anything you don’t like, your body will respond to this, so take the time to try a new position, suggest a new movement with your partner, or add a toy to help you feel aroused again.
If you’re worried about not staying wet, the very thought can be what triggers the sensation. To lower the stakes, always have a bottle of lube near you. This way, you can quickly add a bit of lube and carry on with your partner.
Everybody is different. There is absolutely no right or wrong answer to how wet is too much. The main factor is if the sex feels comfortable. Being wet means more lubrication, which means more comfort. As long as you are comfortable, it doesn’t matter how wet you are.
Likewise, if you feel like you are too wet, this is not possible. You can’t limit the amount of lubrication your body secretes unless you were to find yourself un-aroused. And if you go this route, then you won’t be comfortable or find enjoyment in sex.
Unfortunately, our bodies don’t always react the way they want them to. You may have trouble getting wet all your life, or you may find that change happens suddenly. Not getting wet can be a physical issue or a mental issue. But it is nothing to be ashamed about.
Start by going through the tips we listed above, such as creating a calming environment, exploring your body, and using toys. Communicate with your partner so they know what you like. If this doesn’t help, then it may be time to see a doctor. They can offer other ideas and, if necessary, prescribe medication to help with any dryness.
Vaginal dryness is one of the most common symptoms of menopause. Trusted Source Menopause - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic Menopause is the time that marks the end of your menstrual cycles. It’s diagnosed after you’ve gone 12 months without a menstrual period. Menopause can happen in your 40s or 50s, but the average age is 51 in the United States. www.mayoclinic.org  The good news is that as you progress through menopause, you may find it easier to get wet again, but if not, you may need to see a doctor about hormone therapy or medication.
When you are pregnant, or after you give birth, your hormones can be off balance, which can often cause vaginal dryness Trusted Source Sex after pregnancy: Set your own timeline - Mayo Clinic Sex after pregnancy happens. Honestly. First, however, vaginal soreness and exhaustion might take a toll. Whether you’re in the mood or you feel as though intimacy is the last thing on your mind, here’s what you need to know about sex after pregnancy. www.mayoclinic.org . There is also a worry about how you are feeling and how your body looks, not to mention extreme exhaustion. These can all lead to you being less wet than you were used to.
Women often have fewer stresses in life when they are younger. Their jobs are not as demanding, they aren’t in committed relationships, and they don’t have children. This means you have more time to have fun with sex, which can allow you to relax and experiment, making it easier to get wet.
As you age, you feel more tired, more stressed, and more burnt out. You have less time to engage in foreplay with your partner, which means your body doesn’t have as much time to warm up and self-lubricate itself.
Communicating about sex with your partner can be incredibly difficult. You may feel too exposed, too embarrassed, or not even sure how to put your feelings into words. But being uncomfortable during sex is not okay, and not getting wet usually leads to discomfort.
There’s also a chance that your partner may have noticed you are not as wet as you once were. After all, they will be involved in intercourse, too.
Take the time when you don’t feel vulnerable to talk about your body. Sometimes it helps if you go for a walk together, as you don’t have to worry about maintaining eye contact. Bring some ideas to the conversation to propel your communication and ask your partner for ideas, as well.
While the conversations might be hard, they may actually propel your sexual relationship to a whole new level.
The female body is incredible and should be celebrated. You have such power in yourself, and knowing how your body reacts to certain stimuli can help you enjoy your body even more. To help you enjoy sex better, your vagina lubricates itself, also known as getting wet. If you aren’t properly wet, sex can be uncomfortable or even painful. Sometimes you need to help your body out, which involves knowing how to get yourself wet. Start by learning what parts of your body respond to different stimulations, and then communicate this with your partner. Take your time with foreplay to allow your body to warm up. Don’t be afraid to use toys, and if you need more help, there are plenty of lube options.
